my DP and his white lies, do you think i overreact?

[new40]

Hello all. I have DP for one year now and so far i thought that he is a very honest person. To the extent to prefer to be insulting rather than lie . At least that is what i thought. Lately i decided to check his honesty and i caught him in small trivial lies , example he said he was sleeping but he was doing something else, or play games on the computer when he said he wont etc. I have explained to him from the beginning that honesty is very important for me and for a relationship and if someone lies for small things then he can lie for everything. Yesterday i caught him again on a white lie , over something he specifically promised he wasnt going to do. I dont mind the reasons that he lies but the actual fact that he does makes me rethink if i should trust this person.Am i overreacting?

Why are you micro managing after a year?

You too really shouldn't be together, he's needs somebody a bit chilled & it sounds like you need an obedient puppy.

I think he is lying for an easy life.
If lying is a deal breaker for you, then I guess you need to finish the relationship.
I'd finish it anyway, no-one deserves constant insults.
But I have to agree with pp who say you sound quite controlling. So what if he does something's no else when he said he was sleeping? So what if he plays computer games when he said he wouldn't? Unless he isn't pulling his weight in your relationship, which is a other matter for discussion.
Regardless, you don't sound happy in this relationship, nor do either of you sound as though you are treat d with respect.

so some people here they would be very happy to work and financially support a person who stays at home all day and play games and probably lie about it because otherwise you maybe get upset that they dont try to find work and help in the household. Sure is controlling if your partner ask you to work because you are adult man, how dare she do that , thats your freedom goes away....
A lie is a lie, if he lies for small things he will lie for everything. I think your views and goals in life are very different and lies or not you dont seem compatible

financially support a person

How do we know this is the case? Does the OPs partner not work - is that in the thread? Playing games all day can be a nice day off for a gamer. Doing every day not in work, not looking for work and not helping as much as possible around the house etc (depending on why not in work) is a different issue and is more of a problem than the little white lies.

I am amazed that there are people who are 100% truthful all of the time.

Mind you, it would make the answer to "how are you?" much more involved than "fine" or "how was your day at work" being "ok".

These sound like the lies I told when I was in a difficult relationship. I didn't lie because I'm a liar, I lied because it avoided an argument.

Examples:
I said I was working late when I went for drinks after work, because if I said I went for drinks it would turn into an argument.

I said I was sleeping when I was watching a film because if I said I wanted to stay in and watch a film instead of going out with them, it would turn into an argument. Also said I was going to bed when I wasn't to avoid having arguments about not wanting to text or be on the phone until 3am.

I said I was working when I was playing games because if I said I was playing games, it would turn into an argument.

Sometimes lies aren't deception but a desire to not have to answer to someone who may or may not be being reasonable.