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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I the only one who got nothing?

40 replies

Princess4432 · 26/03/2017 16:05

I have two children and in my relationship I do everything for them my partner does not do a single thing to help with the children!! I was very upset this morning to get absolutely nothing for Mother's Day!! My partner does not seem to even care he actually refused to get me anything. I don't expect a load of money spent on me but a card at least?

OP posts:

LiveLifeWithPassion · 26/03/2017 20:25

Don't bother with his. Just let him know that you thought he didn't care about special occasions like Mother's Day and Father's Day.

I'm sorry your partner is so thoughtless. You only get one life and your children are small for short time, take charge and get the happiness you deserve.

I'm a big believer in my mn name. Do it yourself.

Jenni5443 · 26/03/2017 21:39

Thank you very much I'm going to take your advice on board

DPotter · 26/03/2017 21:53

Another one agreeing that you need to wind back on Father's day. What's happens for birthdays and Christmas? Does your DP get his act together for theses days or is it the same?

May I suggest you take a long cool look at your family life - do you really want your children to grow up thinking Dads can opt out of caring for children , the house, their mother? You can't change the world overnight but you can make a stand with small steps- from my experience you'll have to spell it out to him as hints will not work, for example take the children to the park on Sunday morning; or for the next child's birthday - ask him to sort out the presents;

Toomuchyogurt · 26/03/2017 22:28

i am so sorry this has happened to you, my Mother's Day has been awful, my DS made some effort, my husband no effort, nothing whatsoever, I feel so upset & unappreciated. But I am going to learn from this, Fathers Day is no longer my responsibility, and I will be purchasing a Mothers Day gift for myself. If I don't value myself how can I expect anyone else to?

Winniethepooer · 26/03/2017 23:05

Personally its not about gifts.
It would be things like dp taking over for the day.
Having a real layin wiyj5out being woken 20 times.
Washing sorted etc
Dinner cooked (not take away)

Winniethepooer · 26/03/2017 23:06

Excuse typos

SnugglyBedSocks · 26/03/2017 23:11

Think I'm going to stop making an effort for him when clearly he makes no effort for me. It's not what I want in life I'm dreading the school run tomorrow morning ... everyone bragging about what they got and done !!

They are not bragging. They are just talking about what their decent partners got them. If you don't like the situation that you are in, then change it.

PatriciaHolm · 26/03/2017 23:15

He sounds deeply unpleasant full stop. Why are you with him? He clearly doesn't love you.

MrsMuddlePluck · 27/03/2017 08:14

Winniethepooer with you there. I just wanted to stay in bed a bit longer, reading a book. He responds with 'why do you want breakfast in bed anyway - it only gets crumbs in the bed'; 'I don't have my Mum any more so I don't do Mothers Day' (she died years ago God rest her).

When I point out that I'm the mother of his children his response is to blame them for forgetting. Like father like son.

He grudgingly came home with some daffodils after shopping for the roast joint. I mowed the lawn, did 2 loads of laundry, ironed, cooked dinner. Same old. At least he did take our old trampoline down for sale/dump. He's not been that active for years.

Jenni5443 · 27/03/2017 10:36

hes exactly the same on Valentine's Day birthdays I think you are right he clearly must not love me and think I'm worth anything

MrsMuddlePluck · 27/03/2017 22:31

Don't assume he doesn't love you. I've just got used to not being made a fuss of.

Still smarts though & I do try not to be bitter over the fb photos of bunches of flowers, cards & tables laid for posh breakfasts for the wonderful inspirational mums which I'm obviously not.

Howlongtilldinner · 28/03/2017 00:21

I find Mother's Day/valentines day etc all create an expectation, when that isn't met we get upset. Personally I think it's a load of commercial rubbish, that said, if my kids (adults) didn't acknowledge it at all I would be a bit miffed.

In the case of you doing everything, and you are not being shown any appreciation on MD, I would down tools, and certainly not going out of my way for any of them.

These marked 'days' cause more grief than they're worth sometimes

Howlongtilldinner · 28/03/2017 00:25

Oops..sorry OP, just seen your DC agesOf course they have to be shown what to do bless them. Your DH is an arse, get your revenge on FD, a cold dish of some sort..

Jenni5443 · 28/03/2017 09:41

Lol yeah I have told him I'm not even going to acknowledge FD he then looked abit confused as to be like well why not? He then said he's under a lot of stress at the moment and he will make it up to me .... we will see.....

Jenni5443 · 28/03/2017 09:42

Mrs muddle pluck. You probably parent just as good as everyone else as do I I'm going to sort my own day out next year I think maybe you could too . X

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