I think ex is being unreasonable

[bittenlip]

I am no longer with the father of my 6 year old son.

Thing is I always feel like I'm asking him to babysit for me whenever he has his son. He hasn't seen him now for 3 weeks, his excuse is that his girlfriend has just had a baby (baby is 6 weeks old) and she comes first , he said he will have him next weekend "but not all weekend, just friday night as we like to have time together on saturday night" .

She has two kids already and I know they have the baby but am I being unreasonable expecting him to not let it come inbetween him and our son?

He says they like time together on a saturday night, when do I get my time? never that's when.

sorry but your dh needs to realise what his life is about. he has two children now and - whether she likes it or not - by dint of taking your ex on - to the extent of having a child with him - his girlfriend effectively has a step son. they cannot pick and choose when he's part of their life. what do they think people who stay together do with their first dc? pack them off somewhere? tell him he's had a bit of slack because of the new baby but now you need to have a regular routine. all kids like to know where they are and what's happening - your ds needs to know his dad's there and reliable - all the time. (sorry - that was long - you are not being unreasonable. he is. )

I don't have any advice, just wanted to say I don't think you're being at all unreasonable. your ex sounds like he needs to grow up.

Sounds like he's unreasonable to me. Is he going to stop having your son every time his life gets a bit busier. Does he send her other 2 kids away cos of the new baby???
TUT

your ex needs to get a grip. he can't choose when he wants to be a parent. unbelievable.

hadn;t noticed the bit about her otehr two kids. bandofmothers is right - do they get sent away too? he needs a kick up the arse

I have a step-daughter and the one thing we absolutely said was that we must make sure that a little as possible changed for dsd when dd arrived. If that meant she was with us the weekend I went into labour then so be it, we would find someone to look after her. Anything other than that she would come to us as per normal. As it was it was two weeks after dd was born and I wouldn't have dreamt of saying she couldn't come - she had a little sister to meet and cuddle. She's part of the family, she just isn't here all the time.

you sound like a nice step mum! I'm not one myself but stuff like this is a bit of a personal bug bear owing to my dad's rather poor handling of divorce. I find it very sad that as a child I wasn;t jealous of kids whose parents were together - but I was intensely jealous of a friend whose parents had split and who handled it well and behaved like adults about it. (so I just take in on myself to pontificate about this stuff!)