I've posted for practical financial advice regarding this on AIBU, in case this is sounding familiar, at the moment I'm really struggling emotionally and looking for any advice or glimmer of hope.
DP and I got together early last year and moved to London. He was unemployed for 7 months and we lived entirely off my salary. He had told me how he suffered from depression and I supported him best I could emotionally whilst working a 50 hour job and trying to grow a small business, so we could be more stable financially.
Lack of motivation on his part meant that he didn't get a job until Feb (7.5 months after we'd moved and he'd supposedly started looking) and just 2 weeks after that, I was made redundant.
Just a few hours after I was made redundant, he sent me a series of messages hinting that he was unhappy in the relationship and wanted to end it. After work he confirmed as much, spending two hours listing all of my flaws (mainly that I was selfish for not helping him make friends in London or supporting him emotionally) concluding that I am "fundamentally self centred". He couldn't remember any of the good things I had done for him (buying him new clothes, making him special surprises etc) and had told himself he'd been unhappy for a while.
My theory is that his depression (and our difficult circumstances with money/him being unemployed) was making him miserable and he found it easier to blame our relationship and cut that off - he had forgotten all of his attentive behaviour to me (which was right up until the day of the break up) and had made up this dire situation of us being distant - which genuinely wasn't true. He then tells his friends and family that he's miserable and he thinks its because of this, so of course they naturally agree which further supports his theory.
He doesn't tell me any of this until its too late, and is not receptive to me trying to fix things - instead is adament he wants to cut and run.
For me, this has come out of absolutely nowhere. It takes A LOT for me to trust someone, and I was exceptionally secure in our relationship - which is highly unusual for me.
It's been a few weeks now and I still feel in shock, as if it isn't real. We had no problems in our relationship (well, clearly we did! But there were honestly no signs) and he loved me and I loved him.
I'm extremely confused about how I feel and can't shake the anxiety that I'm not going to be able to recover from this - that I'm going to spend years and years feeling this miserable.
Logically I shouldn't be so unhappy - as he's clearly a coward, and probably a bit of a user too, but it's almost like he's been body swapped with someone else - it was so out of the blue.
Anyway, sorry for the big ramble, I'm just desperate to hear some ray of hope that it does get better - that I am worth more than my pay packet and that people can be trusted.
Usually I'm such a good judge of people, that I can't see how I can be secure with someone as I did not see this coming at all.