Premarital property in divorce

[user1471418735]

I been with my spouse for 15 years. We have 2 kids. 8 years and 6 years old. I have filed for divorce as I found that this person is having an affair with another person. We are at the phase of splitting assets and kids through mediation. In terms assets we both own the current matrimonial house in the country. My ex has an inherited property which we used to live together for 3 years at the beginning of our marriage. As we both will share kids equally we will need to house them in a good environment. The options we have is we sell both properties and buy smaller in the area. Or my ex sells the inherited property and buy me out so I can use that money to buy another property. My ex is fighting tooth and nail saying it’s a premarital asset and this will not be part of the pot. Which means when we sell the current matrimonial home, the equity is not enough to buy any decent property in this area.
Over the last 15 years I have also helped to renovate my ex’s property (Bathroom, Toilet, Roof) with money and project managing it. I was also the one who rents this in the market. When I discussed this with my lawyer he says my ex’s property will come to the pot as this gives the best lifestyle for the kids. When I asked the mediator she was bit vague and put doubt on my ex’s mind.

Any advice much appreciated.

AS I understand it, it is all assets over £500 are listed on the form E4.

A good lawyer will be able to advise you as to your legal position.

I think it isnt always clear cut so you need good advice. Mediator in my divorce told us one premarital asset (pension) would be included in divorce. But when later I went to court judge decided not. Lawyer said sometimes the judge looks at how you will be left overall . If I had been left with no pension at all I might have got some premarital but I did have some pension of my own .

Why the he and she words for the lawyer and the mediator but not for the spouse? I find it hard to read when posters do this and are purposefully trying to avoid using he or she. It is really difficult to read and I'm not sure what the purpose is.

Agree with ITGurl.
A person had an affair with a person just makes it hard to read

I am sorry that you were cheated on.

As to the answer... well, nothing is set in stone in divorce.

But I'd sure as hell take a lawyer's opinion over a mediator!

Mediation is to try to resolve things together before court. Their word is not law. If you don't think it's fair to exclude it - don't agree, and go back to your lawyer.

Have you had full disclosure yet? I wouldn't even bother with mediation until I had that - pension CETVs, for example.

I am sorry for the bad English. Its a stressful time so bare with me.
Yes I had the full disclosure and this property was disclosed. The fact that
1- It gives the kids a better life. Isnt kids the most important factor when splitting the property?
2- Its a long marriage and I have also contributed for the wellbeing of the property
3- There is no prenatal agreement

I don’t really understand why is this so grey.

There are lots of variables in play, that is why it is grey. It will depend on the values. What are the properties worth? What are your sources and amounts of income?

At face value I do not fancy the other person's chances much but more info would confirm that or otherwise.

My ex and I divorced in the UK, all pre-marital assets were taken into account. As I understand it unless there is so much cash/equity/assets that you would still get a really good standard of living without pre-marital assets, they always are counted.

Generally if pre marital assets have inter mingled with other assets during marriage they are counted.

They are always counted if the needs of the party require them to be.

Ignore mediator and listen to your lawyer who I presume you are paying lots of money to

The property is worth £150k. This is like 1/3 of the pot. Both our incomes are low so not much of a chance in getting a mortgage. His excuse for not including this is that he wants to save this for kid's higher education. I tried to explain that kids needs that money now so they have a better life now.

I would rather settle this out of court as litigation will burn the little cash I have.

Ruededay- Would you mind sharing how much it cost for you for litigation? I like to weigh this cost before going through this route. Lawyers are smart, they never tell you. They just say around £15k which I find this hard to believe.

So the mediator gets a sex but the 'spouse' doesn't? I hate posts like these. Not only does it read awkwardly and make it hard to follow but it wreaks of An Agenda

Has the 50/50 childcare been agreed? You say both your incomes are low, but is one greater than the other? How much of the pot is pensions and how much is liquid assets?

The kids higher education isn't the issue. The state provides that, not homes. He has not a cat's chance in hell of keeping the £150,000 house out and it will be included in the settlement. Depending on primary residence parent and income, there might be a 60/40 split in favour of former. Conduct yourself well during the settlement.

You spent money on his country home and that would normally be in your favour, but on these values its irrelevant. The house will be included anyway.

I reckon the OP is a man and doesn't want it held against him.

Anyway, cost of divorce and litigation all in for 3 hearings..... depends on your solicitors. London sols you're up at £50k. Local sols £30k. My stbdh paid £80k in his and her fees. But that's in SW London. Could be half the cost of hers if you're in, like, Pembrokeshire or something.

FYI. My legal costs including mediation came to £6k. The settlement was 60/40 in my favour.

Thank you all for sharing these info.