Does weekly commuting/working away from home work?

[pollyanna]

my DH wants us to move away from London while he keeps his existing job in London. Because the home counties are so expensive and you get alot more for your money further out, we were thinking of living in Somerset/Wiltshire. He has suggested that he wouldn't come home every night (as it would be a v long commute), and would stay in London say 2/3 nights a week. I am concerned that I would be too lonely ( we don't have family in those areas) or it would be a strain on our relationship. I would like to move to the country, but not at the expense of my marriage.

Does anyone's partner work away from home every week? If so, what are your experiences of it?

Another thought is around Didcot. Same line as swindon, frequent etc, but only 45mins to paddington. which is a good station if he is going in to oxford street. nice countryside around didcot as well. If you want any info on private schools around swindon/marlborough/pewsey then let me know - 'fraid I don't know much about the state sector except they are all crap around me!
Also happy to send you the property bits from our local paper if you want. They cover everything from small 3 bed modern houses to Savills and Hamptons stuff, for North Wilts/South Glos/West Oxfordshire down to Salisbury. May give you an idea of prices and agents...

How old are your children?

Didcot's not far from me, pollyanna

I can send you the property section from the Oxford Times if it helps (not sure how big an area it covers though).

I did this BC (before child). I worked in London, dp lived in the house...I hated it - resented the fact HE was in the house and I wasn't (I actually lived in London and commuted home at the weekends...) We quite often had the most amazing blow-ups on a Friday night, - not a receipe for a happy relationship in my view....I occasionally have to work away from home a week at a time now - dp is absolutley desparate for Fridays as has had to cope with work, dog, cat and ds all week!

Yes, it would be really good to have the local papers PPH and hewlettsdaughter - thanks. I had heard that the area close to Didcot was quite expensive - but I need to do some research I think.

Yes, it would also be useful to have info on schools. One of the upside of moving out of London would be that we might be able to afford private school if necessary, although would prefer ds to go to a state school until he is 7 or 11.

I think realistically we need to live somewhere where dh can commute each day even if it takes a couple of hours.

PPH my children are 5, 3 and 1 and another one on the way. (madness).

Well do contact me if you'd like me to send on the property stuff. Mine are 6,3 and 9 months and NO MORE ON THE WAY.... but congratulations! I see why you need to get out of London, you need some SPACE!

PPH - I'll contact you through another talker. Thanks.

We're in this situation right now. Dh hated his last job, and in May went back to contracting (software developer), so is now working 200 mile away, going off on a Sunday evening, and back on Friday night.

I was DREADING it, and to be honest it's not as bad as I was anticipating, but I only have 1 child, and at 4 and a half he's not too difficult to deal with, but I do miss dh terribly in the evenings, and it took me 3 weeks to start sleeping properly.

But, this contract is due to end in August, and I search the job sites daily to find him something closer to home. I wouldn't be very happy if I knew this would be a very long-term thing. We're hoping to move a bit further south once dh has a contracting history again.

Oh, but dh is much less stressed, being happier with his work situation.

So he's much nicer to be with when he's home at the weekends.

Easy, I think that having seen the advice here, and having thought about it more, I don't think it would suit me to have dh away all week. I think that if it was just once or twice a week when he has a marketing event that would be ok-ish. Like you, I would feel too lonely in the evenings and also don't sleep too well when he's not here. If he was home by 9 that would be ok - give me time to veg out a bit before I got too lonely! I agree though, there's no point him moving to a job where he is miserable just to keep me happy. I think my dh needs to set a trend in the stuffy legal profession and start working from home more!

Pollyanna - just to say I have picked up the Oxford Times this morning and will send you the property section for interest (the article on the front page is about the Charlbury and Wootton areas, at the edge of the Cotswolds). The properties advertised are also online here .

Thanks hd!!