Think I need a slap...

[Littlemissindependent]

I've been single for over 3 years. Recently met a really really lovely guy and last night he stayed over. I knew he had to leave early this morning to work, but I'm now feeling really sick and almost disgusted with myself. Cheap I guess. When he left he said he'd message me later, but my self confidence is in tatters and I've got a horrible feeling I won't hear from him again. I've gone from being (finally) happy, to feeling as low as possible. Someone tell me to get a grip and that it'll be alright?

Don't be so tough on yourself.

Why do you have a horrible feeling you won't hear from him? There is always that risk but if he is a really really lovely guy the chances are it will work out.

Because he is about a million miles out of my league. He's gorgeous and successful, and as a single mum, I don't see that I have anything to offer him.

Here's your slap: SLAP!

Cheap? You should never feel that way! You like him and you had a nice night by the sound of it. Good for you! Make yourself a nice cup of tea and silently gloat over good memories.

If he calls that's great. If not then it was fun for you too, wasn't it?

Don't do this to yourself! Good lord, it doesn't matter how gorgeous he is, if after every time you see him (when he's done nothing wrong) you're left "in tatters" and your self esteem through the floor then you need to stop this and work on yourself before you get involved with him, or anyone.

It was fun. He's completely on my wavelength. I think maybe I underestimated how much I like him and how wobbly I'd feel after having not been with anyone in so long.

I'm a single mum and let me tell you that he probably thinks you are awesome . You are strong and independent.

I do understand the morning after though. I did feel a bit after 4 years of not being with anyone. It's a bit "what happens next?"

Relax, you enjoyed it, see what happens. It's your first toe back in the water after a long time. X

Mostly I just feel stupid. And sick.

Thanks jeaux

Littlemiss don't catastrophise! He's at work. Give him a chance to do what he said he'd do!! He probably thinks you are amazing too!!

I made it crystal clear to him that I was absolutely NOT in the market for a one night stand, and he said he didn't want that anyway. He has text, but no mention of wanting to see me again at any point

I don't see the problem, keep tempo with the texts & play it by ear. If he's a decent bloke, he'll have plenty of offers & will be checking his options. Just play it by ear & don't sweat it. I don't think you'll get a relentless pursuit here

I've had that feeling.

Logically you know they only left because they had to go somewhere/ to work, but still you feel a bit abandoned.

You aren't. You have lots to offer. I'm sure he skipped into work this morning, happy he'd met someone he connected with. Wondering when he should text you

I don't know what I can do to boost my self confidence. I don't need to be with anyone, I've managed perfectly well by myself for 3 years. And I will continue to manage. I just hate feeling this way!

Goodness me you are beating yourself up after what sounds like a great night. Slap!!
You've already heard from him and he's at work, that says a lot. Have a bit more confidence in yourself. If you want to see him again, and it sounds like you do, just ask him, maybe in a couple of days. Take things slowly. I know you've already dtd but you don't have to rush a relationship. If he doesn't want to see you again so be it but you still had a good night

OP flip it round and be a man eating sexual temptress! He obviously likes you, it's his loss if he doesn't want to see you again. Which you don't know you are just guessing! You have you to offer him and that is plenty!!!

Lf803 thank you, that's made me smile!