Unable to keep relationships in moderation (One extreme to another)

[Rk2076]

Hi all I'm outlining my issues with other people. Mostly gossiping arrogant two faced fake "friends". I was a people pleaser, sucking up to the people by buying them gifts on occasions, visiting their houses, doing favours. In turn never bought anything, said anything good, or encouraged me or even visited me. All they did was laugh at my divorce, gossip and laugh at my position as a welfare assistant did it for a month, they thought i did that for years. In fact I was a qualified Teaching Assistant
It hurt me to think that my so called "friends" gossip and talk about me behind my back.

I got divorced over 10 years ago I divorced him and left my ex with two children. He is on his 4th wife, 3 divorces. Jack the lad. So it wasn't me lol.

Back then when I came out if the divorce, stay home mum; I was indulging in gossipy bad habits myself, got the bad habits from my mum whilst living with parents and ex's family. If people talked about me I'd say something bad about them to their friends not face to face as i do now. Gossip about the latest thing happening especially at the children's primary school or people we knew- not good I know.

Anyway fast forward to now I'm nothing like the person I was. I'm outspoken, don't smile back at every fake smile or hi. Ignore and walk on lol. A cold hearted cow lol. Even with colleagues stopped going out my way to fit.
I don't indulge in gossip in one ear out the other. Busy with work home, boxsets, poetry writing, being creative and looking for a fella lol.
If someone insulted or pryed, I'd set them straight by saying "you want to start talk about your problems, i didn't think so" and give an example of a situation of someone of misfortunate events without mentioning who what and where. Don't pinpoint people any more if "He said, she said"
i don't like talking about myself as people never talk about their issues but love being nosey.
Anyway i rise above these lowlifes. The only time I've listened to something is when my friend and I are going through the same emotions kid's being bullied by the same people. We disliked the the same person as they had been gossiping about my friend i about our private issues. My friend made me laugh when she said something bad about them but had to reassert her in keeping herself to get self which she has done. She was like me but moved away i don't see her as often.

Now recently my daughter has friends, their mum's are friends with these lowlifes. Apparently one of the mum's told my daughter's friend that we've fallen out and most likely gossiped lol i could give a hoot now! Gossip and insults behind my back don't bother people unless my kids are bullied that's another issue.

I am more selfish than ever before for the last 2 years. Spend more treats on myself without feeling guilty. I deserve it after all that I've been through. I live myself and who I am in the list unarrogant way lol.
I don't chase constant ring my extended family alot stronger and keeping myself busy.

Anyway your thoughts and input please... I'm intrigued to find out if I've actually changed for the better or it is my delusional thinking?
😂

You go on about fake smiles but put the acronym 'lol' after almost every sentence - yet I get the impression you are anything but laughing out loud.

You sound desperately unhappy, seeking positive affirmations from strangers, and unable to take the merest hint of constructive criticism.

If you were part of the gossip gang back in the day, then people who don't know you, will probably assume you are still that narrow-minded, judgmental hypocrite.

It's up to you to show people that you've changed.

so tempted to write lol

I see this OP has also resurrected a zombie thread to whine that MN isn't nice like Netmums. Says it all really.

It does indeed, Ilovesooty. I does indeed.

Im sorry i struggled to read your post it seemed disjointed, more like a series of ranting thoughts rather than a situation being explained.
Thata not too much of an issue ive posted a few threads during which ive just ranted, but obviously it will affect the responses you get.
I cant comment whether youve changed for the better or not but i can say that what i did feel from your post was unhappiness and anger.
The way youve described yourself hasnt really painted the best picture.
You sound grumpy, rude, aggresive and quite unfriendly.
I think it seems like youve had a tough time with people you considered to be friends, im sorry for that, but we cant control how others treat us, we can control how we react.
I would concerntrate on smiling more, being kind to those who deserve it and ignore the rest, oh and its never nice to call people names, we dont know the problems others are enduring so perhaps you should try not to make judgements about their personality or morals by calling them lowlifes. If you have norhing nice to say, say nothing at all.

There's a big difference between taking no shit and being rude and obnoxious.

If you come across in real life as you are on here, you may want to have a rethink about how you interact with others, unless you're happy to be seen as rude and obnoxious in which case you're winning.

Get a life get drunk, piss in pants and die it's a a Saturday go jump off a bridge.

Oh dear, are you okay? Bit early to be drinking hun

How can any of us say anything to your face when you have posted on a message board anyway? And who called you a chavvy arsehole?

Nah i was provoked here hence turned on the trolls.

I'm actually opposite as my thread states, if you piss me if then you've unleashed my nasty side.

Don't dish if you can't take.

?

Fucking hell...

You get that your posts don't make any sense don't you? And that whatever you think you're doing/achieving here, you're not.

OP in all seriousness, log off, go out for a walk, get some fresh air, reconnect with friends and family, you don't sound at all well.

Oh you have actually made me "LOL"

You are the one clearly trolling a forum on a Saturday afternoon. Yet we are the bored people addicted to MN with nothing better to do?

ODFOD back to netmums.

what did I miss?

Honestly OP you sound drunk.

Or just someone who knows they are rude and thinks its something to be proud of.

You dont have to be rude/nasty or a walkover. Its not one extreme all the other. Find a middle ground.

No one is trolling you. You are being rude and nasty. If yiu are like this is RL this is why you have relationship problems.

if you piss me if then you've unleashed my nasty side

Ooh lol. Really, who's got time for this shit.

You are so funny 😊

You weren't being provoked and you didn't turn on 'the trolls'. You were being quite aggressive with people who reacted to your unusual posting style.

So, to answer your question, I would say no, you don't appear to have changed for the better. It doesn't have to be a choice between doormat or aggressor. You present yourself as being so keen not to be taken advantage of that you're going to the other end of the spectrum and are coming across as aggressive, judgemental and really quite rude. There is a middle ground which is a much easier place to be.

You've given me a great laugh. Thank you

Are you planning on staying around OP?

Looking forward to reading your threads.

Oh dear, it's all gone a bit pear-shaped. Poor OP.

Lol.

Sorry

You sound deranged and delusional OP. Sounds to me like a culture clash. Who are you to call others low lifes? immature and rude.