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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separated but still living together, how do you do it?

6 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 17/03/2017 19:54

We have two children, under 2 one a few weeks old. I've completly had it with husband and we have separated. He's still living here though and it's unbearable. He is constantly unpleasant. Makes sarcastic remarks to me via our toddler. I ask him things re children (like do you want to put this one to bed or feed that one) and get comments back laced with such unpleasant attitude. 2 under 2 is hard at times without this on top. It brings out the worst I'm me though God knows I'm keeping a lid on it as I don't want a bad environmeyfor the babies.

He has no such qualms though and is happy to rant in anger at me while both babies are present.

It's making me really dislike him. How on earth do you stay sane? And not get reeled into arguments?

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 18/03/2017 01:42

Anyone.?

How to post so someone responds.

OP posts:
AntiHop · 18/03/2017 01:46

That sounds intolerable. Has he got plans to move out?

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/03/2017 02:02

No. Joint mortgage, dint think either of us could afford to stay on our own. Though I'd probably get tax credits if he went.

OP posts:
Blacksheep78 · 18/03/2017 02:09

Horrible situation for everyone. Have you talked to anyone legal, or to the bank? Counselor perhaps? Tried mediation? A stranger telling him he's being an ass might be more effective?

I think I would just go about my day to day stuff as if he wasn't there as much as possible.

Sorry I can't be more helpful..

cockneylass · 31/08/2017 05:25

Any update OP? Heading towards this route....

Peanutbuttercheese · 31/08/2017 10:31

DH and I seperated but lived under the same roof in seperate rooms for a few months. However as much as there was pain in the form of extreme sadness he wasn't abusive in any way shape or form. My sister has lived like you as has one of my friends and sad to say it affected their MH as it was quite a long term situation. My friend suffered from physical health issues because the stress on her was so great.

You cannot remain in this situation.

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