Feeling morose after drinking wine and texted ex. Ooops!

[johay]

I'm the one who has just been to court as my h assaulted me and got away with it. I've been psyching myself up so much over the court case and now that it's all over I've hit rock bottom. Last night brother came round and we drank wine and afterwards I was very tearful. Truth is I hate being on my own, finding it hard to cope with the kids constant demands and can't see myself ever finding anyone else who will love me and my children enough. I texted him the following message - Wish I could turn the clock back. Do you feel the same or do you just hate me? He didn't reply. Now I feel wretched. I am such a loser. Wish I could die but would never do that to my children. Anybody there?

johay - you are definitely not a loser. it is inevitable that after such a stressful time you must feel exhausted and low. if you just start with one thing that you would like to do for yourself, and decide to go ahead and do it. the nex thing won't seem so bad. In terms of kids demands - i don't know how old your children are, but they may be old enough to help a little. keep posting, and don't be surprised if you are tearful again - it would be strange if you weren't i think.

Awww, I hope you're feeling ok now johay.

Firstly, he might not have replied for several reasons... he might not have credit, he might not have seen your message yet due to dead battery or whatever. Or he might just be being childish, not answering so you feel like this.

I know it's easier said than done, but this had to happen. You couldn't have carried on the way it was going before. It was no good for anyone, and something had to happen to make it all stop. It's natural to still have some feelings for xh, and it's natural to feel lonely when you're not together anymore, despite the bad times.

Invite some friends round and have a gossip, or get a babysitter and go out. Summer's here (though you'd never guess with the weather atm!!) so take the kids out and think of how nice it is not to have to worry about xh moods.

Thanks beetroot I took your advice and deleted his number.
Do you think I can be happy? I will do the sportsaid walk. I have already entered the endofstory comp plus face of Eve modelling comp (not that I've got cats hope in hells chance of winning either) to distract myself. I'm also learning to drive and doing a boring playgroup course. I am trying to forget about him. I know my kids are better off without the terrible arguments but I still feel awful. Can't seem to break his spell.