Cliche arguing after having Children.

[leaningover]

DS is coming up to 2. DH and I were married after 2 years together and had DS 9 months after the wedding.
The fact this all happened so quickly may be the root of things.

We'd never argued ever before having DS. But now it's niggly arguments about everything. Pent up resentment about who gets the most sleep, who does the housework, who's helping out with the baby. I gave up my job to be a sahp and I am regretting it, DH has carried on and got further on in his career. I'm resentful and jealous because his life has barely changed whereas mine is entirely upside down. There have been several incidences of pure nastiness between us, mainly him to me as I try hard to 'keep the peace'.

the main question is is there any coming back from the typical post children arguments or is this only going to get worse. He won't particularly accept there's a problem, even though I know there is.

You need to sort out your moods????

It's any excuse to take zero responsibility on his part and countering/invalidating (using the disgusting approach of questioning your mental health) etc is emotional abuse.

I'm sorry but right now your husband is a twat (and I suspect this is who he really is given the utter nasty shit that is coming out of his mouth)

You are not his equal - make no mistake there - what you are is his free nanny/housekeeper/dogsbody.

DH won't get up and do ds' nappy and breakfast straight away like I would

Just because he doesn't do it like you doesn't mean it's wrong. Does he need his breakfast immediately? If he's been in his nappy for 12 hours is another 15 mins really a problem?

Is he not prepared to do it or are you not prepared to let him?

Jesus Christ potteringalong. The first thing after 12 hours in a nappy is to change it. Would 15 minutes make a difference? Would 16? 17? 18? When is that magic moment? As a caregiver why do we change nappies when we do at all? Baby wakes up in the morning - full probably messy nappy. Carer changes it.

Her husband does not. Delays it. Lies around while the child is sitting in his night's filth and you spin it to ask OP if she won't let the dad do his own bit.

I think it's a fair expectation that ds' nappy is done fairly sharpish especially when he's asking for a 'dry bum'!