My bloody bloody mum

[Eyeslikethesea]

My mum is a high functioning alcoholic, undiagnosed narcissism and the most toxic individual I have ever met. My dad on the other hand is kind, compassionate and wonderful. His only flaw is that he loves my mum unconditionally.
Over the years there have been many times I just wanted her out of my ice but I can't because I love my dad.
And now my dad has cancer.
My wonderful, loving selfless dad has cancer and my mum is in her fucking element. I don't doubt she loves him and he's her rock but it's all about her.
I can't phone to see how he is without her answering the phone and speaking for him. I go round and he can't get a word in edgeways. Her drinking is out of control and I can't do anything.
I'm so so angry. Why my dad.
He will tell you he loves my mum and she is and always will be his choice but his life has been filled with drama, her spite, her malice and controlling behavior.
Why my dad.

holland thank you x

Do please try ACA Eyes. It is a wonderful organisation. I feel I've come home. (not that 'home' is a familiar concept to me...)

Your mum may or may not be a narc but being the child of an alcoholic is bad enough. The behaviour looks very similar to a narc's behaviour. You will find people who understand in ACA (and Al-Anon)

So sorry about your dads, pepsi and eyes

Eyes and Pepsi for you

Thank you all

Thanks, sorry about the hijack eyes, just totally connected with what you said.

I hope you are ok xx

OP, you ask "why my Dad?". The answer, very simply is "Why not your Dad? Cancer does not discriminate. It does not ask who deserves this and who does not. It is a disease. Having had, and survived, cancer three times, I object to the fact that you seem to think that some of us deserve it and some of us don't

Fucking hell im so so so sorry!!!i didn't mean that at all. I was very angry/crying uncontrollably in my first post and all I could think of was why not my mum.
Again I'm truly sorry for offending you user

And pepsi it's totally fine, I think it's helped me get my anger out and talking to people with either similar experiences or a different viewpoint really helps

for you. Hope that your Dad recovers and that you also recover from your experiences at the hands of your mum.
FWIW I didn't think for one moment that you think some people are deserving of cancer. I get why user1471453601 may be extra sensitive but I think it was pretty clear that your train of thought was why not my mum. Which is totally understandable.
Have an unmumsnetty hug (((())))

Thanks ghost x