Okay so I have been broken up with my ex partner since last summer, because he became very controlling , argumentive and I actually started to be scared of what he was capable of. On four occasions things have happened and I don't know how to process them still. The first occasion was one night while I was trying to sleep kept touching me trying to initiate sex and I said no I wanted to sleep he kept on going touching my breasts and vagina then he started thrusting himself against me it wasn't until after many times of me saying no and actually having to shove him off me he stopped. Next occasion I was asleep I woke up to him having finishing having sex with me, I froze I didn't say anything I just lay there in shock while he turned off the light and said nothing. I don't even think he noticed I had woken up. The third occasion I was aslee on the sofa he woke me up and told me to go and sleep in bed so I did , then I wake to getting my head hit off my beside table from him thrusting into me, he had taken off my underwear I had on to have sex with me Even though when I was awake earlier that night I had already said I didn't want to have sex as I was treating myself for BV (tmi) when I realised what was happening I shoved him off told him to stop and asked did he realise that I was asleep ?! Which he then denied and said I should have made some noise indicting I was asleep ( how is that even possible if I am unconscious?!) he then refused to leave the bedroom , him crying saying he rather kill himself then be a rapist when I just kept asking please leave me alone again in shock and feeling rather numb. A few weeks later I discover I was pregnant so I tried to keep making a go of it as I wanted to believe it was an accident that he didn't mean it plus I didn't want to be a single parent to two under fives. So for the next 6 weeks my sex drive disappeared I couldn't have sex without searing pain and said that I didn't want sex but everytime when I was half dozing he would start having sex with me and I would have to say no as it hurts a lot he would most of the time carry on until I would have to shove him away in pain. I went to the doctors multiple times about the pain and they couldn't find any cause apart from cuts to the front the my vagina which healed and I still felt pain. A week before we broke up I asked him to sleep on the sofa as I had my toddler daughter sleeping beside me, I woke up at 3am to find him crawling in darkness along my bedroom floor to "just be close to me he said" I actually screamed for him to get out him bedroom as I was scared of what he could have done even though my child was beside me. Then I ended the relationship as he tried to stop me talking to any male friend and I realised I was becoming afraid of him and I didn't want to expose my children to that. He admitted sexually assaulting me on the one occasion but then changed his version of events three times saying he didn't hear me make a noise to that I moaned slightly to that I said I missed him and wanted it and was rubbing myself against him ( this makes me feel physically sick) as I know I didn't I woke up in the same sleeping position minus my underwear and my legs just moved slightly so he could penetrate me. Now I still get problems sleeping because of the last incident especially , I cannot sleep without my daughter beside me as I have nightmares and I'm due this mans child any day now . He is sticking with his story of it was an accident and he is going around telling people I'm accusing him of rape when he "just made love to the woman he loved as he was sure I was awake" then he is telling people I was sleeping around when I haven't at all all I have been doing is looking after my toddler and trying to piece myself together for my child being born any day now. Am I being over dramatic about what happened ? Am I wrong to call this rape ? Was I wrong to be scared of what this man is capable of ? I'm so confused and I'm finding it difficult to come to terms with this still months later. I am sorry if this has made no sense