Can I get a divorce ?

[user1489521504]

I'm posting here for advice , I'm in a bit of a pickle tbh . I'm 23 with three small children and I've been married for 5 years .

My husband has been violent to me on occasion , but not for over two years now . I desperately want a divorce . I am happy to continue living with him until he has found a place of his own and we have agreed to do this , I wouldn't dream of making him homeless for the children's sake.

I am a sahm , I have no qualifications or experience so getting any sort of job is proving extremely difficult but I am going to start a college course in September . My husband works but is on a low income and we get child tax credits and housing benefit . We are separated but live together currently meaning that I can't claim income support as a single parent or anything else to help.

My problem is that I don't know how to go about getting help with legal fees and court costs - I would be eligible for help with court costs and possible legal aid if I could claim income support but I can't do that because he is still living here . Does anyone have any suggestions of help I may be entitled to ? Also is the historical domestic violence grounds for divorce ?
Please don't say to either stay married or kick him out because neither are an option . I cannot cope anymore with him having this 'claim' over me .

You qualify for legal aid for a divorce only if you are financially eligible and you have proof of DV. It has to be both. Financially you might qualify but a family solicitor can quickly check for you free of charge. The proof of DV could be a caution, referral to a MARAC, letter from a GP.

The historical violence is unreasonable behaviour and is definitely one of the reasons you can use to divorce

Thank you , he was charged with it so the court should have logs of the proceedings ? Also have social services letters ect . I was worried that I may be unable to use that because of how long ago it was

You can get legal aid if you're in an abusive marriage. I recommend you get some legal advice, first go and visit your GP and explain your situation and how it is affecting your mental/physical Heath - start creating a paper trail. Good luck

There used to be a two year time limit for legal aid but that was recently scrapped so the conviction should qualify you. And your financial assessment is based on your income alone even when you are still sharing a house

It's doesn't have to be actual violence anyway, it can be psychological abuse by coercive and controlling behaviour - it's still domestic abuse.

Youn can still claim tax credits while living together if you can prove the separation. Make an appointment with your local CAB for advice (may take 2-3 days to get an appointment.)

Thank you , I will speak to CAB although I'm not sure how we could prove we are separated . Do you know what they might accept as proof ?

You don't need proof if it's unreasonable behaviour. Go see a legal aid solicitor, they will help

If you're on benefits you can get the court fees paid google will help you

OP - just a warning, that it is usually said that you are at the highest risk when a partner has been / is violent and you are leaving. It may be worth speaking with Womens Aid and getting some advice before you tell him you are leaving.

I agree - I'd be very wary of telling a violent man I was divorcing him but he could stay in the house for a while. That would be really awful. Contact Women's Aid.