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Original poster

Texting x.....How would you feel?

23 replies

scrumpy · 27/06/2004 16:23

would like to know what others out there think?? I have had a awful weekend with my dh after I found around 30 text messages on his phone to his x wife these took place approx 3 weeks ago. i have a ss who lives with us , the x has a 9 year old who stays with us every other weekend everything is very amicable. dh and x wife split 7 years ago when she could not handle ss. i have been with dh for 4 and a half years. these text messages were from him to her and her messages had been deleted. some were innocent enough but there were a couple relating to them seeing each other. i have confronted dh who is totally apologetic and said it was stupid and he did not want her it was just flirtation I have also spoke to her with her ending up apologetic though to start with she suggested I was insecure and it was normal to send jokey messages, ha ha I found it no joke with a 4 month old baby and a very difficult ss. I have sorted it with dh I have no doubt he loves me and ds but I feel very hurt by his actions, what do you think?

OP posts:
beetroot · 27/06/2004 16:27

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Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 16:30

thanx beetroot...some of the comments were regarding her being dull....dh replied saying she was not she was sexy etc etc dh did say she did text him saying did he want an affair but he thought it was a joke

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Janstar · 27/06/2004 16:32

But 30 is a lot Beety if they were all sent at around the same time. I can understand why you are upset scrumpy, so would I be. But I am quite possessive I have been known to thump my dh for flirting at a party.

jampot · 27/06/2004 16:32

I know mobile phones are the cause of such a lot of trouble between married people but I agree with beety - try and ignore it, they've both apologised and no harm is done. Maybe will see it from your point of view now.

beetroot · 27/06/2004 16:32

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Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 16:34

beety.. i think you are right about the power thing my dh is alwys worried that if he ever rocks the boat about anything she will make life difficult regarding his access to son.

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Janstar · 27/06/2004 16:35

that's a good point.

Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 16:38

janstar...i am usually pretty laid back re flirtation etc but have been hurt before by unfaithful partner.the messages were over 4 days 14 of them one afternoon whilst dh at work and also after dropping off ds back to his x.

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beetroot · 27/06/2004 16:41

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Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 16:45

yes probably right have done the angry bit and the upset bit he did phone x in front of me and said it had caused upset and that unless it was to do with ds they would avoid a repeat of it so i suppose i should draw a line under it now..moving on now

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Janstar · 27/06/2004 16:48

That sounds reassuring.

CP3 · 27/06/2004 16:57

If she should happen to text him again it may only be to wind you up, so try and stay neutral, just roll your eyes or something. Thres no point in making your relationship rocky because of it, in fact the less bothered you SEEM by it the stronger your relationship should be. IYSWIM

Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 17:04

cp3 yes i know u r right logistically there is no chance of any affair ...i think they were just giving each other a confidence boost...its nice to know u r attractive 2 others and i know i have barely given dh any attention since ds born and dealing with ss.

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beetroot · 27/06/2004 17:07

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CP3 · 27/06/2004 17:09

Dont you go taking any of the blame Scrumpy. You could condidence boost each other. You didnt go flirting with your Doctor or the milkman did you?He doesnt need to flirt with an x just cos theres a new baby on the scene. Its tough i know sharing yourself between the kids and partner. Im surprised mines still with me sometimes.

Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 17:10

we have my sis to babysit on thursday so we r going out only second time in 4 months, i go back 2 work 2morrow dh at home looking after ds we r working alternate shifts so this will b a tough week

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beetroot · 27/06/2004 17:11

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CP3 · 27/06/2004 17:13

Too true Beety. Now im feeling bad for neglecting DP.

Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 17:14

cp3.. no i am not taking yhe blame just looking at contributing factors he cooked for me last night and has admitted that it was a really thoughtless and stupid thing to do 2 text x saucy comments.

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Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 17:18

talking about food on a lighter note just gave ds trio of fruit puree (nearly 5 months old) wish i had waited bit longer before feeding anyway he is loving trio of fruits yum yum but i ran out, just made a batch of parsnip so gave him some of that....face was a picture spat it out shut mouth like a clamp ....asume he does not like parsnip...i dont either wonder why i thought he would!!!!

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CP3 · 27/06/2004 17:21

Mix the parnsip with some sweet potato or something so its not so strong tasting. have you tried courgettes yet, my ds loves them with Brocolli!!

Glad you and your DH are sorting it out in a very adult mature manner. I prob would have sulked for months and been all mean and spiteful to him . Bet this little glich has made you two stronger. Ahhh how sweet

Original poster
scrumpy · 27/06/2004 17:25

cp3 ...its woken me up a bit I have been feeling a bit dowdy since birth of ds and have been bf and eating like a horse so I have piled on a couple of stone so I dont feel very attractive I think this all contributes to the whole relationship so today been out walking with ds eating sensibly and looking forward 2 regaining my fitness well being etc

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tammybear · 27/06/2004 18:06

just thought id throw a bit in. remember that a lot of txts would have to be sent to have a conversation through txt messaging. i still txt my ex as of dd, so if dp txt his ex (who he is still sort of friends with) it wouldnt bother me. theres no harm in a little flirting, as it makes me feel better about myself, but i know its not going to go any further than that. glad you 2 can sort things out well

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