Long term lurker here. Could do with some advice. Been married 11 years have 2 ds one 9 one 7. DH works in a high powered job that involves lots of travel around the uk. I'm a full time student but only because I recently gave up work as DH away so much and one of our sons has ASD. Really didn't want to give up work with nothing else so decided to re- train with a view to working for myself once qualified and can fit around my sons various appointments. When DH is away 2-3 nights a week he takes clients out drinking and socialising every time almost. When home he works 70-80 hours a week and is never home before 7.30. Recently we have been having problems with me feeling neglected and him not wanting to spend time with me. He says i am needy and I don't think I am. We started marriage counselling last week. But he's been horrible to me recently very critical and just horrible all round which could be stress I suppose but I don't think it is. He has social media I don't. I was on his a few weeks ago as someone set a video up of my aunt who has died and I wanted to watch it. I saw he had searched a new college up. I asked why and he said " oh I was showing so and so how she dresses etc not very professional" I felt funny about this but let it go. Then at a work event I was at last weekend with him one of his younger staff members said to me " oh DH really likes so and so but I think she is very dangerous". I kind of was lost for words but said nothing until we got home and dh said that guy always says stuff when drunk etc and he meant dangerous in a work way like would step over you etc. I let this go too but have been paranoid since. This weekend he's been very critical and just not nice to me at all. After I made dinner I went up stairs and his phone was plugged into the charger l. I needed the charger so I took it out. Something made me look at his what's app and there was one message sent to him from a woman I had never heard off before it was an emoji of a banana and kissing lips? He quickly came up when he realised his phone was upstairs with me and I asked him. He said it must have been sent by accident to him. There was no reply. I said ok ring her and put her on speaker and ask, he refused to do this but messaged her back saying was that for me. He has taken his phone away at this stage and about 10 minutes later she showed me the reply " sorry wrong number". Why not oh sorry DH name not meant for you or something as they are obviously what's app contacts? A few weeks ago a phone fell out of his pocket I had never seen. Apparently it was only used for a peice of software that his team use and they all use that phone on specific jobs, but at black tie event he was at last week he sent me a selfie of himself in the tux and a few days later I noticed he took the selfie with that phone. Why if it's only used for software take selfies on it? His answer was his iPhone battery was dead. There is just so much to be a coincidence and I don't know if I'm crazy or what but I just think he's being horrible as he's guily. Anyway I left and came to my mums and am staying here until the morning. He will take kids to school on way to work but I've told him to take his stuff with him because even if nothing has went on I just Davy live like this anymore in constant suspicion. I told him if he goes away with work not to drink etc but apparently I'm being controlling and jealous by saying that. I just don't know anymore maybe I am just jealous and paranoid?