For those in long term relationships what do you think of this? 15 signs you are not in love....

[Mrstumbletap]

I know this probably isn't written by a relationship psychologist, as I stumbled across it on Facebook, but what are your thoughts?

Do any of you agree or disagree with any of the points on the list?

www.thinkinghumanity.com/2016/12/15-signs-that-prove-you-are-not-in-love.html

Most of them apply to my relationship but as an adult I don't expect butterflies and novelty from a man I've lived with for two decades. We have a much more important function which is maintaining a happy, secure home for DS.

I dare say if posters said their husband was complaining of lack of spark, novelty etc and decided to go off in search of pastures new we'd judge him as a selfish, immature twat.

Nobody should stay in a relationship that makes them unhappy, but by christ women have enough pressure and expectations heaped upon them without feeling they need to be having fabulous sex and deep conversation within long term relationships. I've got enough else to be getting on with thanks.

I think these list things that pop up on Twitter etc are all pretty pointless. Every relationship & tolerance levels within are different. Surely the individual will know rather than be driven by something a bit Mills & Boon-esque?

I agree with all but am seperated butas are trying to work it out well sort of. TBH heads a bit of a mess.

The butterflies thing is interesting because for the first 17 years I was still really super excited when I knew he was coming home.

This has about as much substance as those quizzes we used to do from Just 17!
Honestly, it just plays on people's insecurities and and assumes that all relationships are the same.
Butterflies ffs, what absolute bollocks.

Exactly hugo.

OP I've just thought.if you want a better researched and more reliable version of this, John gottman's four horsemen of relationships are very good and insightful. He's actually a marriage expert too.

Yeah I have read about the the 4 horseman. And I agree with those and see them in peoples relationships.

Morriszapp I'm glad you have said that about you and your DH, I have only been with my DH 1 decade but yeah butterfly's are not a regular thing.

Hugoagogo im glad you think it's rubbish, it seems butterflies and excitement are not what is happening after years and more contentment kicks in. Which is good if others feel the same.

I am 30 years married this year and all of these apply.
I would love a divorce.

Dementedma sorry to hear that, what's stopping you from separating?

What Morris said. And I'm not sure emotionally dependent has to be a bad thing. Dh and I have stood by each other's side for 3 decades, through some pretty tough times: of course I'm bloody emotionally dependent on him!!! And he on me. Why would that be inferior to the butterflies I felt when I first got to know him?