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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Aibu to feel upset by this.

3 replies

Hopethisoneisnottaken · 12/03/2017 18:10

ok so i don't have friends... just acquaintances. i reply a lot on family for social outings. have 2 under 3 kids. have a married bro living 15 min away and rest of extended family 45 min.

so my bro and sil are always busy working and never arrange to meet us or make effort wit my kids. they see kids if i invite them around for dinner or family gatherings. so my cuz moved frm the other side to local afta she got married.

so i find out they been going out together along wit my cousins bro and sil. so i feel bad and let them know.

so they stop for a bit. but meantime ive decided i dont want much to do with bunch of them.

so my bro and sil havnt seen my kids for 3 mnths. so my sil arranges going out tonight to a pub and invite us and the usual lot... my cuz her hubby and her bro + sil. but bro and sil live other end... so just appears like they knew already that they wud be our end.

i feel like my invite is just courtesy and that they planned meeting already. and i cudnt go due to genuine reasons tonight. but am i allowed to be angry that afta 4 mnths they do something child unfriendly? non of them hav kids. i was getting over them frm the distancing ive decided to do... but just feel so so angry at my bro as he never used to make an effort wit me but as soon as my cuz moves here, they got time for them.

if i hsd friends of my own i prob wudnt be so emotionally dependent on them.

i dont wanna call my bro and hav a go at him so it's better to vent here to get over this.

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 12/03/2017 19:13

OP, I can see why you are upset. It's crap when family don't appreciate the effort you make with them and don't make effort in turn. They come to your house to eat dinner but never invite you in return.

Could it be that they want to go out as couples without children?

Could you try to extend you social circle by making friends at playgroup, etc?

Jellybellyqueen · 14/03/2017 10:08

Some people just don't find other people's young children very interesting, even if they are family. They don't have children themselves, so child friendly outings probably don't even cross their mind. At least they invited you, despite you not seeing each other in a while.

Hopethisoneisnottaken · 14/03/2017 11:16

thanks for your replies ladies. my sil visits her family quite a bit and they got 8 children in her family... so find it hard to imagine she cant tolerate kids. it is just the way it is ...?cud be because of us as in my hubby and i not very interesting or popular... so fell sad that my kids get left out aswell. i don't expect a child friendly invite everytime... just a thought that they want to see my kids sometimes. but this never happens unless i plan a dinner at mine.

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