" My horrid parent"

[southdowns]

I've just come across this article in today's Guardian about a website for people with "horrid parents". The founders advise against going no contact with difficult/abusive parents because "that tends to make you feel very guilty. My advice would be to keep the relationship going if at all possible. When you’ve got a partner in your life, take that person with you when you visit your parents, because you need their support.”

They then recommend taking a bubble bath and focusing on "making yourself a better person" as strategies for coping

I'm in a NC situation with an EA parent myself so found it triggering, would be interested to hear what others thought.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/11/horrid-parents-how-survive-them-alyson-corner-angela-levin

some people get it that their parents are toxic. Some people are only just beginning to realise. Articles like this are misguided IMO but at least they might speak to someone who's just realising

Apologies for the exhalation tone of my post, above. I have walked the horrible path of slowly recognising I had a rough time of it as a child. That, therapy and recognising, was a long time ago and perhaps I've lost sight of what a sensitive time it is. Sincere apologies.

Exasperated not exhalation!

It makes me wonder if the two people that run the websites are the "horrid" parents.

It strikes me as they are promoting that old bullshit adage of "anything for family". Frankly I wouldn;t put up with shit like that from a "friend" or work colleague, why should I have to put up with it from family?

What utter bollocks advice that is. I was at the point of taking my life when i was still in touch with my mother. But apparently "offering her a cup of tea" might have helped???????

The only thing that has helped me has been zero contact for 12 plus years, therapy and lots of other mental health related stuff. . Took me literally 8 years to get the narcissistic controlling evil manipulative vile witch out of my head.

'Offer a cup of tea' to me sounds like the equivalent of a dog rolling over and offering a throat/belly. It makes the other person the more dominant, and the offerer, far from being the 'better person' is actually now lower in the ranks than the other, and therefore far game for more bullying.

I recognise that children/dependants would want to back down, back off, but they don't have the optionof going NC either.