what shall i do?

[emapemap]

Last year I caught my husband on a website called fuckbuddys and he had arranged to meet with this women having had a weeks converstion with her flirting and sending pictures of each others privates etc.I managed to sreen shot these msg and confronted him the day before he was due to meet her.He was shocked and upset that I had found out and promised he would never do it again,deleted her number and the site he was using.This was a year ago and although it has been really difficult to come to terms with I have slowly started to trust him again as he has always been a good husband and dad and we have always done things together as a couple never gone out on our own and this was out of character but one year on and I found out only this Monday that hes doing it again!He has no idea I know yet.He has been coming to bed really late long after ive gone (which he did last time) to bed.Anyway I waited until he was fast asleep and went downstairs to have a look around for signs....I found a different phone than his hidden behind the microwave in the porch and you've guessed it...hes back on the site and has been chatting with 3 women and sending pictures of himself with a erection and videos of him masturbating!Im absolutely devastated. Our sex life has been going downhill since I started in early menopause at 39,im now 50 and although our sex life isn't how it use to be or as often we still do have sex.He has been telling these women that he hasn't had sex with me for 4 months which is a lie.He has always had a high sex drive and I know its difficult for him not having sex often but I thought we had a stronge and trusting marriage (17 yrs) and ive tried so hard to forgive him but now I don't know what to do, it will devastate our 13 yr old daughter who thinks we are happy.Thankyou for taking time to read this.

You might be able to find one that will do an initial half an hour free to set out your options. I did. Just take it small steps at a time.

I'm so sorry for you & your daughter. How sad for you both.
I caught my EX on a site like you're describing. I found emails, and photos. I confronted & forgave like you.
Caught him at it again approx 1 year later, but I couldn't forgive him this time. I confronted him - told him to leave and filed for divorce. I have 2 DC's with him. They were devastated intact my DD refused to call him dad for years.
They got through it though. They are happy & healthy that's all that matters.
Good luck whatever you decide

Can't believe this is happening again. We just bought a new house too,how can he be prepared to loose everything we've built together for cheap thrills.My D will be devestated plus I'm worried about my elderly parents whom he has a brilliant relationship with this could make them ill having all this on them because I'd have no choice but to move in with them and it's a tiny place,wouldn't be able to afford anywhere on my own.

Don't take on his responsibility and guilt.
He may have a great relationship with your parents but it's not your place to feel guilty about what would happen if you don't keep his secret anymore.
Do you think your parents would be as friendly with him if they knew what he's been doing?thats not your worry I'm afraid.
Tell him to leave the home until you get all your ducks in a row.
Go and get some good advice before you say anything to him. Mknowledge is power as they say.
When he realises your serious and that you have had good advice he will realise he's cocked up big time but that's his problem not yours.
Stop feeling bad for everyone else and start thinking about yourself.
Do you want to carry on like you are knowing what he's upto and keeping the secret?
Every time he goes out you will be nervous and untrusting even if he does promise never to do it again because guess what,he bloody will.
He's creeping to low depths by getting another secret phone and SIM card. That's as meditated and determined as you can get.
Do you think he's feeling guilty that what he's doing is wrong and hurting you?i don't.
Any excuse if he couldn't help it is utter crap I'm afraid.
You need to get angry about it.
If a friend came to you and told you this was her dh what would you say to her?

Your only concerns should be you & your daughter. You've gone above & beyond what most people would tolerate, by having him back after the first discovery. He's been spineless & pathetic. He should have had the balls to end things with you, if the mismatched Sex drives were a deal breaker, not photographing said balls & sending them to other women.

Hold it right there. Whatever you do, Do not move out of the family home. Stay put, at least until you have consulted a solicitor. He leaves. He continues to financially support dd. Before you confront him, hunt for and copy any documents you can find regarding financials. Mortgage, pensions, savings, bank accounts, all that sort of thing.

This may be utterly irrelevant, but I think it highly unlikely that a website called fuckbuddies has even one genuine woman on it. The most likely scenario is that it is one of those paid-for sites where sleazy men buy credits to exchange sexy messages and arrange hookups that are never going to happen. I used to work for one, and believe me, there's far more demand from men to meet women for no strings sex than there are women looking for it, ie: basically none.

I don't think this makes a difference to his level of betrayal -- he's gross and disrespectful and whether he knows he's being scammed or not (I reckon most of the men on those sites do work it out in the end) he is still cheating and he will do it again. He is also likely to be using family money to buy credits to chat with these "women". But likelihood of him actually finding himself a real life fuckbuddy through this site = zero.

I'm definitely going to confront him this Saturday and ask him to leave

Hope everything is ok emapemap. Stay strong

Wait until he meets her and then when they're together coldly sit down and introduce yourself as his wife ... ooh the satisfaction of his white fucking face

Confront him (he will lie). Life's too short to waste it feeling like this. Good luck OP

I found my husbands secret email and password, he'd joined 13 websites!

I registered with all of them and chatted to him. I arranged to meet him and the look on his face was priceless when I turned up.

I also found a rubber vagina and delivered it to him at work personally.

Walked into his office and lobbed it at him from the door.

Was a great day.

Life is too short op, get rid.

No update OP?