Are men really able to forget/block out memories and move on?

[Cherryblossom200]

Hello all,

I wasn’t to sure where where to to this post as it sort of covers a few areas. But I thought maybe it was best placed here.

I met someone about 3 years ago, had a 4 month relationship it was great, met his family, went on holiday together etc etc he is 40 and never really settled down with anyone. Anyway to cut a long story short, I fell pregnant - he wasn’t happy about it (despite banging on all the time about wanting a family and talking about what our children would look like) he left as soon as I told him and continued with his plans to move abroad, which he did. He sent me a message saying he doesn’t want any contact with me. So I have have never contacted him or asked for any money to bring up my daughter.

I’ve seen one photo of him and he looks very happy. How are men able to compartmentalise their feelings and move on as if nothing has ever happened? If that was me, I think it would always be at the back of my mind.

Thanks to anyone who replies.

Littlefrog3
"Like they have affairs, whilst (allegedly) still loving their wife. Whereas a woman will not usually have an affair unless she is unhappy in her marriage."

Pater
Oh come on.. you're massively generalising there! Women will frequently come on this site and say "DP is great, good father etc but there's this guy, and we just have a connection" (paraphrasing somewhat, but it's the general gist).

Nah ... women may look at men and fancy them, but will rarely have an AFFAIR if they are happily married.

Many more men will have affairs even if they are happily married than women who are happily married.

Littlefrog I agree with you, I've found a lot more men tend to be very selfish and have what I call 'Have your cake and eat it syndrome' they want it all.

Very true Cherry. ^ Not all men are like this of course... but more men are like this than women.

Such codswallop Littlefrog. Men need to have women (usually!) to have an affair with. I would argue anyone who is happily married doesn't have an affair.

Also, to the earlier comment about him not wearing a condom. The OP obviously didn't take precautions either.

No a lot of my friends are with wonderful men who I have nothing but great things to say about. So this isn't a guy bashing thing. But sadly as I've experienced there are a lot of men who can never be happy with that they have.

I was in a relationship for 15 years (('m 40 now) with a man who cheated a fair bit, even when I confronted him he denied it. I eventually left him because I had enough. I know for a fact he loved me but just wanted his cake and now from what I can understand he regrets his decision. He is going from one rubbish relationship to another repeating the same mistakes he did with me. Some men are pre-programmed to be pr*cks.

Renaissance I took responsibility of my decisions - something my daughters father did not do. Simple as that. Whether it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 months of being in a relationship does not excuse you to run off if you have unprotected sex.

Such codswallop Littlefrog. Men need to have women (usually!) to have an affair with. I would argue anyone who is happily married doesn't have an affair..

Stop talking bollocks renaissance. The women the men have affairs with could be single. Not all women are married FFS! You need to check what you have said before you click 'post message' HUN, to make sure it makes sense!

See I can be rude as well!

". The OP obviously didn't take precautions either."

Nope. But she didn't strop about when unprotected sex resulted in pregnancy.

Because she is neither stupid nor a cock.

Renaissance don't forget about the guys who pretend to be single to get a relationship started with an unsuspecting dupe.

Thank you Helen x

I absolutely compartmentalise all the bad shit I have been through. Sometimes takes me a few weeks or even months to put it into its box and file it away.

It's not all about men, I was abused as a child and that is my way of dealing with it, that is how I have also dealt with stuff as an adult. It does work for me and I have got so good at it that some of the stuff I can't really remember at all.

Awww I love monkeys I'm sorry to hear that 😢 If that's the way you are able to deal with it then that's great. Maybe it makes a bit more sense, he had an anxiety disorder which was fairly bad when he got stressed - he got panic attacks etc so maybe this was his way of dealing with things.