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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

H's 'discipline strategy'

7 replies

mikado1 · 08/03/2017 20:19

...or lack of. His (overall) approach is to get very cross very quickly (often without getting all the details) and then leave the scene/go silent. He then returns and is sweetness and light/wrestling Disney dad Hmm

I have pointed out that absolutely nothing is learnt 're the actual misdemeanour and that this isn't discipline at all but I'm bloody fed up. He acts like his annoyance is a reflection of how bad the behaviour is (nothing out of ordinary) but he's not dealing with anything at all. I am posting simply because I actually don't know if I can even confront this - again- I'm nearly past caring but I thought maybe someone has had a similar experience or has any view on this. Should say it's not an out if control situation just pointless crossness. Pretty cross myself here.

OP posts:
GallivantingWildebeest · 08/03/2017 20:22

Talk to him. Discuss how you can deal with things. Say he's the adult, not the child. Buy 123 Magic and get him to read it.

mikado1 · 08/03/2017 20:36

He won't even want to hear it or will listen to me and my view/idea and say 'fine' and that'll be that. I have said exactly that, you are the adult.

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SandyY2K · 08/03/2017 20:44

Have you explained that his strategy doesn't teach the kids anything, in a non critical calm manner of course.

Otherwise it will naturally cause him to become defensive or not counter attack.

mikado1 · 08/03/2017 20:52

I have Sandy and he says he knows.. I am calm when saying it but I know he takes any such comment as criticism.

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GallivantingWildebeest · 10/03/2017 09:34

He won't even want to hear it or will listen to me and my view/idea and say 'fine' and that'll be that. I have said exactly that, you are the adult.

Oh God. What's he like at dealing with conflict with you or another adult?

BantyCustards · 10/03/2017 09:42

What gallivanting said...

mikado1 · 10/03/2017 21:53

To answer: horrific. Two issues since and when I brought them up I got 'Oh for God's sake', followed by walking off and head shaking silence. Sad

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