OK going nc for this looking for suggestions to sort out problem with DP. We live separately we were both divorced when we met. I married very young had children but my ex was too young and the marriage quickly went downhill ending with him moving in with his affair partner. I worked hard for 18 years as a single mum , paid off my mortgage and had no debts and was happy. I met DP and we hit it off . He has a very well paid job and had reared his children after his divorce. He is extremely careful with money and so am I but after 4 years of living separately I could use some advice. My work is highly sensitive and confidential. It doesn't pay well but I love it. Recently I had an illness that was life threatening and I had time off work. I just about managed to pay my bills but one £500 bill . In the years together I have never borrowed from anybody but while in hospital I asked DP for help with the £500. He takes home 7k a month . He lent me the 500 and told me again about the debts his ex ran up . I was very lucky to recover and had a very close call and it has taken months of rehab to be able to walk stand etc. I have been advised to cut back my work hours and I am able to have a reasonable standard of living. DP spent every sat afternoon and Sunday with me it was hard for him and I couldn't go anywhere it was a terrible time. Now I am back at work and I asked him about moving in together as we had planned before I got ill. He just says why don't you come to mine for a few days? I haven't been at his house since I was ill except once. He thinks I should stop working and relax but I can't afford to . He complains about how lonely it has been at his house. I cannot work from his house so we are stuck. He says he likes my cooking but I remember how it felt to borrow the 500 from him. Should I say it to him ? Any advice please sorry for the novel
