My DP announced in January he wasn’t happy and he didn’t feel I was happy in our relationship and we should go our separate ways – been together 10 years and have one DS aged 4 ½ .
I live DP house (his before we met and I have never contributed anything towards it) and the place which we live is about 45 minutes from my family including my grown up children (I have 2 and so does he). We both work full time and my MIL has been looking after DS. My DP said that he would move out of his house and that I could continue living there with DS and that he could stay at the same school and MIL could carry on looking after him and in DP words “I could have a few months on my own and see how I feel”….. err I don’t think so it’s all or nothing with me so I have arranged to move back to the area I come from and back to my home so DS will have to go into a new school (reception) unfortunately my DS suffers with separation anxiety – doesn’t like change and even creates sometimes when left with MIL despite her looking after him since he was 10 months old. I also cannot find one childminder to take DS to and from school – either don’t cover that school, full or don’t work on a Friday (unfortunately I do!!). The Breakfast and After School Club unfortunately finishes at 6pm and my train home gets into the station 5 mins to 6 so would always be late to collect DS (also even though I have contacted the club via their website and emailed the manager I have had no response so am assuming they are full too).
So tomorrow I will have to hand my notice in – love my job, extremely well paid but no way do they allow for part time and it’s over an hour each way so even if they did let me do school hours I would only actually be at work for 4 hours max. I am hoping that even though I have left of my own accord I will be entitled to some benefits until I find a more suitable job… I am thinking of registering as a childminder (I have childcare qualification although not used it for a long time) so that I can be there to take and collect DS and cover the school holidays.
I feel completely selfish though – I really can’t see that taking up DP offer will help long term as he will still have a lot of his stuff there and his elder son’s and will have a key and could at any point say you have to leave. I will also be in a town that is not my “home” his extended family live here and he has a number of friends as he is out and about most evenings (I’m the one at home looking after DS) I have no friends here just know a few mums from the school to say hello to – If I move back to my home I have my children, extended family and friends. Am I doing the right thing? Is it okay for me to want to be happy as well as DS and also has anyone else had to give up a brilliant job and claim benefits and it been okay in the end????
Oh yes the DP denies there is OW and that he just isn’t happy and there has to be more to life!!!! - he had an affair about 9 years ago when we didn't live together or have DS so he isn't whiter than white in that department and has been very secretive with his phone etc in the last couple of months.