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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How much sex is Normal.

14 replies

cherryberrymum · 07/03/2017 19:41

Been with Partner for 7 years. Can't remember the last time we had sex. Probably before Christmas. We are affectionate and do tell each other we love each other but r usually too tired for sex. R we in a tut? Any advice on how to break the cycle?

OP posts:
ClaryIsTheBest · 07/03/2017 20:25

uhm.

Idk. We were trying to conceive until semi recently, so...

But I think,,, At least once a week. Preferably 3-4 times?

But it just depends. If both of you are satisfied/happy? Then that's ok. It's an individual thing, isn't it.

Hacpac · 07/03/2017 21:35

There is no normal but the fact you are on here suggests you aren't happy with it.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 07/03/2017 22:17

There are so many threads on this very subject, there is no such thing as normal-please don't gauge your sex life based on how much others are or aren't getting.
You're clearly not happy with the frequency so you should address this with your partner.

user1486897010 · 07/03/2017 22:31

I wish my dp wanted less sex! He wants sex or something every day.. and gets really grumpy if he doesnt.

rainbowdash888 · 07/03/2017 22:45

There's no normal! Dh and I average once a week, occasionally twice :-) we have young dc and did it more often before them

ClaryIsTheBest · 07/03/2017 23:26

user

I know this isn't about you. But Idk... I'd be furious if DH became grumpy ifwe didn't have relations once a day. It just sounds so wrong :( sorry.
He has two hands (probably). Or he could buy himself a fleshlight.

hellsbellsmelons · 08/03/2017 12:25

It really depends on sex drive I would imagine.
I'd like it almost daily but as I'm single that's not going to happen any time soon.
With very recent Ex, due to his porn addiction, I probably got it once a week!

TheNaze73 · 08/03/2017 13:42

No right or wrong. Remember reading on here, that 3 times a week was uk average. Seemed low but, I suppose some marriages are sexless, which would drag the average down

MummysMaison · 08/03/2017 16:44

My first marriage was sexless and I have a high sex drive so it just wasn't working for me (it didn't start out like that). Ex just wasn't't interested.

With my now DH, who shares my love of sex, its about 5 times a week. I have a weekly appointment in his diary on a Tuesday afternoon Grin when we have the house to ourselves. I get to dress up (his choice of outfit) and not have to be quiet! It keeps the spice there. I love it!

Is there any time like this you can make for the both of you?

ClaryIsTheBest · 08/03/2017 17:31

I have a weekly appointment in his diary on a Tuesday afternoon grin when we have the house to ourselves. I get to dress up (his choice of outfit) and not have to be quiet! It keeps the spice there. I love it!

I'm actually really jealous...

But we have a baby, are expecting DC2, I work full-time and I have a blanket and a surprisingly comfortable couch in my office. So, I think that says enough about the amount of time we currently have for sex/intimacy (or just sleep in general. Schlaaafen... I'm so tired)

user1486897010 · 08/03/2017 17:39

ClaryIsTheBest
Yeah he refuses to have a wank because he has a girlfriend!! I have to do it.

ClaryIsTheBest · 08/03/2017 17:53

I have to do it.

As long as you want to do it? Sure. But girlfriends aren't just here for sexual gratification/letting your right (or left) hand rest, are they? Idk.

But as mentioned above. My sex life isn't perfect either... So, I'm not like... sitting on a high church top (or is it a horse in English?).

user1486897010 · 08/03/2017 18:00

Well stops him moaning because otherwise he is grumpy the whole day!

Sorry cherryberrymum i didnt mean to take over your post. I think maybe surprise him? or try to change things a bit

Orlandointhewilderness · 08/03/2017 18:37

My BF and I don't live together. we spend fri/sat night together and one weekday night. we normally will have sex friday night, sat morning and evening and sunday morning. then weekday night. We have started waking each other up in the night for it as well. We've only been together 8 months though and we both have a high sex drive. The only reason we don't have more is my daughter is normally staying at the weekend too!

It really is individual though and there is no right or wrong. As long as your are happy.

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