Hi.
I posted for advice a couple of months ago, but of course ignored that advice and took him back.
Bf and I were only together for a year, but it was a total whirlwind. Fell in 'love' very quickly. However never moved in or anything else.
He has anxiety and depression which he originally told me was mild. Told me he worked from home etc etc. All lies. Severe anxiety to the point he doesn't even shower for a week or more. Doesn't work (which is fine. The lies bother me more)
When he's in a bad mood he can be so nasty. He admitted to me that a few weeks ago that his brother accidently spilled some water near some things of his. His reaction was to grab him by the collar and chuck him out!!!!
Things haven't been the same since then. I kept thinking what if that was me or the kids.
Then he told me on Saturday that hes been chatting to other girls. I was diagnosed with depression a couple of months ago. So I know I've been distant. I know I've been difficult. But I deserve someone who can be there for me.
Also reading threads on here by people who are in obviously abusive relationships and I'm thinking "leave. You can do it. You are strong enough" then realised those women are me 2/5/10 years down the line. So I left.
Sorry it's garbled and random. I just needed to get it all out.