SEX.......................why bother....................

[WhyBother]

............unless you are ttc???

I have just 'lost' the point recently...

Er, pleasure?

cos you both enjoy it, it makes you closer as a couple

Do you want answers, or are you just making a statement?

I guess it is just a reflection about how I feel about it at the moment...just came on suddenly and it has kind of shocked me IYSWIM...

are you worying about something or tired

....not really tired or worried...

I often don't actually fancy it when it is an appropriate time (but that is a whole different story).

But I often fancy sex when I can't have it....and thats just gone now too...

I hope it comes back, I know the feeling of never wanting it when there is time, Ithink I prefer spontinaity

For lots of reasons I only truely enjoy sex about 50% of the time anyway....

I def prefere spontinaity. DP prefers the 'its Sunday night so sex tonight approach' which is part of the reason I find it difficult to enjoy - knowing that it has been coming all week IYSWIM...

Doesn't stop me fancying it mid week or after a couple of glasses of wine usuanllyy

I guess that I have just started to wonder 'whats the point?'

you are making me think now I hate that expectation of sex just cos it's the weekend or THE DAY,

When you say you like spontaneity, in what respect? Do you ever go up to your DP and initiate sex without 'discussing' it first?

In this house there is only 1 person that is allowed (or at least able) to iniate sex....thats been made perfectly clear

Why, how?

A bit of a long story but the upshot was ....

I ended up being told 'you don't turn me on' so now I don't bother trying unless I am desperate... and even then i usually fail...

That's not a nice thing to be told. Maybe he didn't appreciate the way you were trying to start things - but that's still not a nice way to put it.

It's not nice or fair to have an arrangement where only one person is allowed to initiate things - I would want to have quite a serious conversation about that.

that;s not good no wonder you are thinking why bother I have no good advice other than discuss it if you can with dh

I think a BIG discussion is needed between you and your partner.
I would be very uncomfortable feeling I was not "allowed" to do anything in my relationship, whether sexually or otherwise.

ooooh..v bad thing to hear. Real control issue IMVHO.

Right, I am starting to get a picture of what is happening.

Why would you want sex if you arent being made for feel sexy - the opposite in fact.

I always end up asking this ... how is your relationship otherwise? Because this bit certainly doesn't sound good ...

not surprised you have commenced this thread. Can only speculate on how having sex in those circs. makes you feel. About yourself?

Message withdrawn

I am disappearing for a bit (have to as DP is home). I will be back...

LOL, you should all have to go without for 6 months - you'd be gagging for it (Bugsy says delicately). As a single mum, I'm like a bloody unexploded bomb!!!!