Sexual equality + late night trains

[Chocolate1000]

I've had some difficulties with my bf (now ex, I guess) the last few weeks and now it's finally come to an end end as I refused to pick him up from the station at 11.45pm last night (he was coming to see me to try and sort things out). I felt 11.45pm was too late to be hanging around a tube station (it wasn't a babysitting issue - I just thought he was being selfish and inconsiderate of my safety) and asked him to get a cab to his hotel - he doesn't stay at mine for various reasons - but he said that if I didn't meet him, it would be over. Well I didn't meet him for the reasons above and I got a text accordingly that he'd be on the first train home again tomorrow and that was that as far as he was concerned. I know it's hard to judge from a few sentences on here but is it really reasonable to demand that a woman meets a man from a station at that time of night? He only came down so late as he'd booked a really cheap train ticket but I'm sure he could have got a full-price ticket (he's often paid full-fare happily) and travelled at a more reasonable hour then I would have met him. We're not married or anything. I know that when I visit him he collects me from the station but I'd never plan to arrive at his town at the best part of midnight - again for me, it's the safety issue of travelling. I just don't get this although with his behaviour the last few weeks, it smacks of him pushing my buttons as an excuse for a row. I might be old-fashioned but to me, it's not on.

He knew, when he said 'pick me up or it's over' that you weren't going to pick him up, you knew if you didn't pick him up that it was over.

Are you sure you both weren't using the issue as an excuse to end it? This way, neither of you have to 'try' to sort it out.

I think had you both wanted to see each other & be together bad enough, you would have picked him up or he would have made more of an effort, does that make sense?

The whole time/picking up thing...I would, if I wanted to see that person badly enough.

This doesn't sound like a sexual equality thing, this sounds like a power struggle, to me. (Particularly his 'meet me or you're dumped'.)

Do you actually want to stay with him?

any man who puts conditions on his love is not worth loving.

Sandcastles - that's why I thought it odd he didn't get an earlier train so I could do that.

Nockney - I did in the beginning if this makes sense but not if this is the way things are going to go.

is this the guy who has kept emails from your ex? sounds like you're well out of that relationship tbh.

my dh might ask me to pick him up late at night. in fact have picked him up from gatwick at 11pm with dd in tow. she was thrilled!

i think he booked the train unreasonably late (i say unreasonable because he could have booked it earlier, just chose not to) to provoke you into refusing to go.

so i think you both want out of this relationship. i wouldn't contact him again unless absolutely necessary.