Fed up of never being good enough

[charliezz]

Hi mumsnet,
Im not sure whats got into me.. Recently ive felt utterly depressed..
Let me fill u in im 34 years old, and have two children. My relationship with their father has disintergrated. I dont feel like im in a bad place because of that as such though.
All my life ive always sat in the middle of everythibg, always been a good friend but no1's best friend. Always good at sports but never the best.. Always good in school but not top of the class for anything. And when its came to boyfriends it been the same. Plenty boys have fancied me and ive always managed to become close friends with those uve liked..and theyve always managed to meet a girl better than me 🙄 its not that ppl dont like me im just never 'the one' for anyone.

And its starting to really get to me! I have lovely friends but its like im friends with everyone but they have best friends within our same group.
I cant work out why i only ever seem to get so close in relationships.
I just want to be someones first choice for once! Someones best friend, the one person someone would talk to before anyone else.

Feel majorly stuck im a rut. Ive met a mew man and i feel the same. He likes me yeah but it'll not go further than that cos im just not special enough or interesting enough or pretty enough etc etc 😩

I haven't got a solution, but I often feel the same way you do. Exercise is the way I deal with it normally, but I am poorly at the moment so feeling like life is awful and no way out. Forget about men and friendships, how about you focus on doing something for you that you always wanted to? An evening class, a challenge...whatever you want that gives you motivation.

Have you thought about seeing your GP and asking for counselling? It might help you to figure out your feelings and move forward with the rut.

Without sounding harsh, these sound like your issues and that old saying you have to love yourself first. You need to work on building your self esteem, it's this which is unattractive in a person, not you

I agree with sunny. How can anyone think you're special if the person who knows you best - you - doesn't think so?? No one gives a shit if you're good at sports, plenty of people will just love you for simply existing. But if you constantly send out the vibe that you're not good enough you will block them out.