Nothing like a good kicking while you're down

[MusicIsMedicine]

I need to just get this out there.

My baby is nearly 8 months old.

Huge hyperemesis pregnancy followed by section, steroid withdrawal, 4lb baby with undiagnosed tongue tie for 16 weeks and breastfeeding hourly day and night, followed by a house move then back to work, then off again with severe anxiety and depression.

DP gets up this morning, after I've been very ill again for a week and matter of factly says... You could do with going to the gym.

Wanted to scream at him. I have had your child in the hardest circumstances you prick and have no family here and never get a break and I'm tired ill and stressed.

What the fuck is wrong with blokes that they just aim a punch at you while you're already down!!

Do not go to the gym cos some arsehole idiot says you need to; sorry but what he said is unforgiveable, what a prize prick.

I'd go to the gym, doesn't have to be an extreme workout but might help you by having a break and getting fitter, might meet new people go for a coffee afterwards, his suggestion is pretty good if I'm honest. He can look after D.C. and you start to get some life back

Ffs! You do not need to go to the gym! The gym is not a default place for people. The gym is a hobby. You do not need to do a certain hobby because someone else likes doing it.

Music

You and he need to be apart as of now. Its not working out. The rotten apple that is he did not fall far from the rotten tree that is his family of origin.

You will not get your confidence at all back whilst he and his family are in the picture.

You get your confidence back by kicking out this arsehole who steals it from you in the first place.

No way would I stay with someone who said that to me. LTB

@Holly are you the OP's partner??

Attila

You are so fucking right.

How do I go about just getting my life back. My physical health will take time, but it's my mental health that's being destroyed.

He is a good dad, just an arrogant uncompromising arsehole.

Do you work or have any savings/income? Whose name is the house in?

shutty I was wondering that.

If it was as easy as going to the gym after what I have been through, would I not be there already.

Clueless.

I have savings. I am self employed, not doing much work for the last few weeks. I work at home a lot but been too ill to even do that this month.

House is joint rental in joint names.

Starts getting your finances seperat and in order.
Build your work up again,start getting out and about as much as you can and meeting new people etc etc. That will build your confidence and then when your feeling better and stronger tell him to bugger off and find another mug.
A partner should make you feel good,loved and respected not like crap.
There's nothing wrong with walking away from something if it isn't working for you,it's just building a life for yourself first that's the daunting but

I'm a fan of the gym but haven't yet been asked for coffee. It's just a place, like a shop or a park. OP can go there if she bloody likes, or not. I did nothing of note until my child was about three, some of us aren't pinterest mummies, we're just getting by and hunkering down for the carnage to pass.

What ofudginghell wrote in relation to getting your life back.

I would also state that he is not a good dad if he can and does treat you as the mother of his child like this.

morris exactly. Spot on. If it was as simple as people assume who aren't Fucked, we'd just do all these things.

I know a very good, instant weight loss strategy whereby you lose 12 stone (or however much) of useless flesh waste immediately!

I'd tell him I was going to the gym and spend a few hours with a solicitor instead...twunt.

He tried to borrow money off me this morning. Acting as if nothing happened. The gas lighting twat.

Oh OP, what's in this relationship for you? The fact that you earlier called him a good dad DESPITE ALL THIS implies to me that there's a backstory here longer than Middle Earth's. I only ever hear that trotted out when the guy is an absolute thundering arsehole.

Have you looked into tax credits?
Even if you are for the time being just keeping things ticking over, having meetings and pulling in business and not actually bringing in much income at this stage, as a single parent working 16+ hours, it's very, very helpful.

As a self employed, newly single mother with not a massive profit for the previous year, I found it a little harder to get a flat I wanted, but luckily, I had a supportive dad who could act as a guarantor. Might be something you need to consider too.

Thanks all.

His behaviour and lack of respect just seems to be getting worse by the day.