Weird letter from Dad

[LovelyBath77]

He is divorced from my mu, and they live apart. Recently I have tried to mention it to him, as he still seems so entangled with her and goes running when she needs anything. She divorced him when I was a teenager.

So, now he writes to me all about the affair he had and the reasons why, and that he 'doesn't believe in marriage anyway'- that he 'succumbed' to this woman who was suffering domestic violence, that he 'could;t have let that happen' so he had stayed the night to protect her.

i remember it well. he brought her home, and got me to talk to her as mum wouldn't. I was about 14. Mum never forgave me for that, as id I had taken sides.

Dad is in his 70s now. The rest was very emotional about how much he misses me and thinks of me all the time etc. So I said he could visit but he just went on about how nice it was being cooked for and looked after, and asking me to get in touch with mum (am NC with her).

I feel totally overwhelmed by it all and considering NC with him too. I wish they had either stayed together or separated not this in between thing. They even visit together previous to this.

Any thoughts welcome

I think your mother has persuaded him to write to you.

Not sure why you are NC but this is just another attempt by her to get through to you

Yes I think that might be right. I am NC due to years of drama and stress from her, including her blaming me for a life threatening illness and making up lots of weirdness about me taking drugs etc and sharing this with DH's family (lies) it kind of came to a head when she started ragin at him, and them when they tried to set her straight. I do feel better being away from all that especially when been ill and don't need to cope with her as well. I think she has an undiagnosed personality disorder, definitely something like that bit won;t seek help or treatment. he seems to enable her. Sigh.