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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I leave my boyfriend?

32 replies

squareclaire · 27/02/2017 14:56

Hi thanks in advance for any help, me and my boyfriend have a baby together, we argue a lot I have become very resentful of him, we have been together for four years and there have been a lot of problems first he has a daughter from a previous relationship who hates me whatever I do her mother also hates me,it became worse when they started accusing me of mistreatment of the child for no reason, I have my own kids so it makes me nervous, and in the end the kid accused my boyfriend of beating her to the police because she was mad at him for spending time with me, the police realised straight away it was lies luckily I said in the end that she couldn't be at our house anymore because I can't always have a target on my back. It would be ok if this was happening to us and we were a team but he has thrown me under the bus many times when it comes to his child, I know he's scared of having no access if he doesn't do what they tell him to but it's been three yrs of this, I am a nice person probably too nice and I have two amazing well rounded older kids that I want to enjoy. He is an everyday weed smoker I hate it he has agreed to not do it at home or be under the influence of now we have a baby but now he goes to his friends to do it until 1 am. He is very insecure and jealous and doesn't like me going out with my friends if I do he makes my life hell for days. He earns more than me but always runs out of money way before pay day which leaves me in a constant state of anxiety saving all I have to make sure my kids don't go without all month. It is all just running through my head at the moment all the time I'm the type of person to stay and make things work but I'm not sure I can live like this anymore I'm constantly angry and depressed .

OP posts:
GallivantingWildebeest · 01/03/2017 09:10

Definitely leave him. What a waste of space. You're supposed to put in effort to relationships; they're NOT meant to be hard work like this!

Just seen your update. Call the police. get this logged. Ask their advice re contact with your ex - they should advise supervised conatct due to the drug use. Good luck, OP.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 01/03/2017 09:12

Hi Claire, have you rung the police Sweet ?
Take pictures of your arms.
You really need to do this, as Joysmum says, protect your daughter.
So what if you pulled on his coat, it makes no difference.
Please Claire, if you haven't already done this, you really need to do it now.
We will be here waiting, to support you.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 01/03/2017 11:10

Last time XH hit me, I marked him fighting back because I thought he was going to kill me. I scratched him and bit his arm, the police still arrested him and took him away.

squareclaire · 01/03/2017 17:58

I contacted the police via an online form, they have asked to come and speak to me I'm considering it, he has left his drugs here, I have taken photos of the bruises

OP posts:
SaorAlbaGuBrath · 01/03/2017 18:14

Well done, that's a very brave step.

squareclaire · 01/03/2017 23:01

Was surprised to find the police banging on my door at 11pm ( I had gone to bed at 9 when my baby had gone to sleep) as they wanted to ask me about the incident I had logged, it just made things worse as I have two older kids who have no idea what happened just that we broke up,I know I need to speak to them but on my terms would have been better, they said they would come back at 9pm

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 02/03/2017 08:44

Well done on getting this logged.
It will really help you for future dealings with your abusive Ex.
Make sure you tell the police everything.
Did you get pictures of your injuries?
You've taken a major step to taking back control of your life!
Keep going. You can do this.

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