Been feeling bit lonely recently with lack of friends. I ve always struggled with friendships and have had periods of my life feeling lonely so guess this is another one. I wish I could turn it around though. I am not looking to make massive groups of friends as I don't think I will ever be that person and I am not good in friendship groups. I think I have a bit of a warped view of friendships though so this is part of the problem.
When I have made friends it kind of been without me noticing or trying too hard. It's kind of evolved over time. But the other person has made the effort and I ve kind of realised late I suppose that they want to be friends. I definitely seem to miss signals.
Trying to take this on board recently I have just tried to be smiley and be positive and chat to people naturally without thinking about if we can be friends or not. I ve tried not to overthink it and just let it evolve but find it doesn't. So today I found myself sitting on my own at toddler group whilst everyone else is in groups.
I chat to many people and know many people to talk to by face or name or through our dcs but it never seems to evolve into friendship. They just don't seem interested.
Conversations seem to be me asking questions and chatting about mutual topics, usually dcs. Questions aren't really asked back and so the conversation stalls. I guess I must just give out vibes/say the wrong think or give an initial impression which makes people not want to chat to me more than a superficial level. Yet they seem to have made friends with others easily, I observe them being obvious in how much they like other friends and have developed a close friendship with them. I wonder what I ve done wrong.
Dh says is because I never move past the usual superficial conversation which is very true. But it's hard if you feel you're getting nothing back and they aren't interested in being friends. It always ends up with me having to mention meeting up or just stays as small talk every time I see them.
Alternatively, the people I have asked to meet up with and where the relationship has developed has fizzled out after a short while. I feel this is after they get to know me or realise actually they don't like me as much as others. This has happened a lot recently with people I worked hard to try and develop a friendship with.
I am never the person people want to get to know better or must find the time to contact. I always have to do the running with the friends I do have.
Maybe I am just that person? I d love to turn it around though. How can I do this?