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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

stressed about court 'evidence'

14 replies

weatherbomb · 23/02/2017 15:50

Hi, I've nc for this. I'm supposed to submit evidence next week and not too sure what sort of things they want to see. I'm currently unrepresented but will sort something before the hearing which is a way off. Any ideas what information I may need to provide and if a court would be willing to grant an extension? Its a child residency hearing where exh has lied through his teeth and I just want to cover all bases and leave nothing to chance. I've been given very short notice of the dates as exh was challenging the last order. My head is all over the place and advice welcome!!

OP posts:
Chillyegg · 23/02/2017 15:53

Any history if dv? If so any evidence?
Any texts or emails?

weatherbomb · 23/02/2017 15:57

Hi Chilly, yes dv and a history of false and malicious allegations made against me. All investigated and unsubstantiated, but ongoing 7yrs down the line. He's after one of our 3 children (yes only 1). All parties recognise he's a risk to the child but seem to be unable to do anything as child is 12. I'm stressed, frightened and a mess.
Apologies, didn't mean to drip feed but trying not to out myself!!

OP posts:
SenseiWoo · 23/02/2017 16:40
  1. Start by telling the story, in date order if at all possible, so the court has the background: your name, age, place of residence, job, etc. Same for your ex. Date of marriage, date of birth of children, dates of separation and divorce, summary of reason for divorce, current state of play re children and their relationship with ex, maintenance, co-parenting.
  1. Brief history of court proceedings with dates of hearings and orders and saying which court/judge did what.
  1. Set out what you want and why. Set out what ex wants and why (no need to get into the legal arguments which should go into a separate document, just record your respective positions).
  1. Write down the key things you want to get across as a list of points. Keep it on the table in front of you as you write as a reminder not to go off-track.
  1. Make a copy of the list in 4. This time, write a short summary of how you are going to get each point across (a bit like some old-fashioned books where they give you an idea of what happens in each chapter).
  1. Using your list and your summary, go through all the facts the court needs to know and always refer to the documents which back you up and the people who were involved.

Use sub-headings in bold type so the court can see at a glance where things are discussed. Whenever you mention something where there is a relevant document, clip a copy behind your statement.

Write it out as fully as you can, then cut it down so it is clear and to the point (it is easer to cut down than add things in, I find). Get friends or family to read over it for you so you can be sure it makes sense.

weatherbomb · 23/02/2017 17:00

SenseiWoo, thanks very much. It's help put things into perspective and be a little less overwhelming. I'm just not coping as well as I was.

OP posts:
SenseiWoo · 23/02/2017 17:02

Don't mention it-happy to help.

Another thought: if you type BAILLI into a search engine you will get their website which has copies of court judgements. Try and find a Family Court one and see how the judge sets out all the history and the facts. Use that as a guide to how to set things out.

carabos · 23/02/2017 17:05

What does the 12 yr old child want? At that age doesn't the court take their own wishes seriously?

PaterPower · 23/02/2017 17:10

Good luck. I self represented for some of the proceedings I was forced to initiate, and putting the bundles together and getting the evidence in order was tough going, particularly as I was also working and couldn't take leave to prepare.

Be sure to have evidence in the original documents of anything you want to call on including anything which disproves any angles you think he may introduce.

My exW lied through her teeth on her original "evidence" (which I didn't see before Court so had no idea of what fantasies I needed to refute) and when I tried to add in evidence that disproved her in the second hearing I found the Court excluded it because "it should have been in the bundle for the first hearing and I'd had time to add it before then!!" You don't get long in the hearing to try and cover all that off either.

Fucking "Family" Court. I wouldn't donate my piss to help out a magistrate these days.

weatherbomb · 24/02/2017 11:59

Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Sensei- that's a great help.
Carabos- my DC has no choice in this. he's being completely brainwashed & will stick to the script as he's been completely isolated & controlled by his father & gf. Theach authorities know this is happening yet still take it as his wishes and feelings.
PaterPower- you are absolutely right. family courts are he'll on earth, destroying families & decent people. it allows bad people to further abuse those who are decent. An utter travesty.

OP posts:
user1471548941 · 24/02/2017 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

InTheMoodForLove · 24/02/2017 13:09

user147154894
so much for respecting OP will to anonymity !

weatherbomb · 24/02/2017 13:25

User - Thank you. Yes it's me! It's not a biggie but trying not to out myself massively. Things are still grim but at least now the authorities know what they're dealing with.
inthemoodforlove Grin thanks.

OP posts:
ohbollox22 · 08/03/2017 13:26

How did it go weatherbomb?

debbs77 · 08/03/2017 20:51

Hope all is going well. Know what you mean about family court. I got a good grilling when I went, despite being the injured party so to speak! While my ex smiled smugly to himself!

PrancerForHoney · 09/03/2017 07:43

weatherbomb
I've thought about you often. Hope it all goes ok for you. Flowers

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