Enough is finally enough. I think

[Unicornonmypants]

Hi there.
I've been married for 7 years, together for 11. 2 gorgeous and adored preschoolers. We got together while he was married, and I knew he had already had other affairs/flirtations.
So no surprise that roughly every 18 months (or more) there have been suspicious messages, rumours, or Internet usage which has resulted in me being really hurt and ripped apart. Never enough evidence for me to have absolute proof of an affair. I should never have given him the first 'second chance', just 3 months after he moved in. But I did, because I loved him and adored him.
The most recent incident made me sad and angry, but few tears, just a resignation that he will never change. I now hate it when he touches me.
I have twice tried to end it this year, but he has talked me round.
I'm away overnight to think about what would improve things enough for a fresh trial for 6 months. I think that is a fool's errand now. He will not change.
I'm expecting a battle as he has said twice that he will fight for custody.

Hi OP, do you still have depression ?
I only ask, because if you don't, you can see your GP, and get it on file.
If you do, then see your GP, and tell him why you are depressed, also on file.
Don't allow your husband to use it against you.
He isn't going to change.
He won't want to have the responsibility of your little ones, week in, week out, another way to manipulate you.
If you were my daughter, I would ask you to consider getting out of this marriage, especially whilst the children are young.
Look after yourself Lovely, you do count. 🌺

Unicorn it's a classic for them to blame you or your MH for their behaviour. Don't believe it for one minute.

If he is a bit of a narc then run and don't look back. Honestly I was a shell when I was with my narc ex, this is what they do to you.

You will be so much better without him. He sounds like a card carrying arsehole xx

You knew exactly what morals he was when you got into bed with him first ever time and he was wearing a wedding ring which wasn't yours. He probably will fight you for custody to control you until he finds his next victim and guess what the cycle starts all over again. His wife felt like you, so can't really complain you knew how she'd feel and he'd do It to you one day.

Slow hand clap holly some of you just can't help but put the boot in can you.

Unicorn the past is exactly that. Chin up, move forward to a happier less depressed future xxx

Thanks again to those who actually read everything and don't focus on my mistake. There is rarely just black and white to any story or situation.

I have been in antidepressants for 10 years. I am in a good place with medication, therapy and family support. That is what has made me feel strong enough to finally try to get out of the relationship.

I seriously think some men (and plenty of women too) just get a big ego buzz from the thrill of the chase and often the illicit, especially when they realise family life can be a bit humdrum. They often have nothing wrong in their lives, love and care for their partners/wives but find life somewhat dull without a bit of side excitement, be it physical or not. That's why plenty of OW should be really careful what they wish for

Glad to hear you are in a good place OP. 😀
You can do this OP, we are here to support you through it. 🌺