Anyone got married to someone they find unattractive

[Holly3434]

My friend recently got married, and her DH says that she's unattractive and doesn't compare to other women. Wondered if people actually do marry those they find unattractive

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/im-worried-about-someone-else/

You can't really help someone who doesn't want to be helped. All you can do is repeat "You are a wonderful human being. You deserve so much better than the treatment you are getting" without being overly sympathetic. I've been in a controlling relationship and the worst thing my friends could do was to over-sympathize with me, it made me feel more like a helpless victim. The ones who simply stated that I was a worthwhile person and deserved respect in a relationship were the ones who eventually gave me the courage to get out.

Read this, and if you think it describes her relationship, show it to her (repeatedly)

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201506/20-signs-your-partner-is-controlling

That's true. My older sister was in two physically abusive relationships. One for 9 years and one for 6 years. She used to butch at me when I told her to leave. I felt more messed up from it because I was doing what she wanted - ignoring the blood and bruises and pretending like everything was ok. I fell out with her a few times before I finally cut off from her permanently. Haven't seen her or spoken to her in 12 years. She made me feel shit for trying to help her, but never once made her boyfriends feel bad. I'll never reconcile with her again, no matter what anyone says. I haven't been angry about it in years, but I'm just indifferent.

Usually it's abusive men who do this. Their plan is to put their partner down so that they are in control. Has she known him very long?

She can get out now or get out later but this marriage is not going to make her happy.

As soon as he married her he made sure that she knew that she had to perform for him to make it up to him for her not being "all that".

honestly, I would have said to him "are you kidding me, you are lucky to have married me" and walked out. But unfortunately the kind of woman who falls for these fuckers and puts up with their fuckery has usually had a number done on her self esteem well before she meets the fucker.