Dating woes for bi people.

[veryunsureabputdating]

I'm a single dad to 2 beautiful kids.

My ex left us about 4 years ago and I've been single since.

I recently tried online dating, however I've not done so well.

The last one decided I was "dirty" as I admitted to her I was kind of bi.

I'm not interested in relationships with other men, I just enjoy certain aspects of the sexual side.

But this seems to be a problem!!

I don't want to be dishonest (I don't hide who I am) but would also like to spend my time with someone!

Help! Lol

Thefitfatty - the OP has very clearly stated that his isn't interested in that - only 'the other thing' lol

From the wsw side, oral definitely counts

wsw???

The fit fatty, I think you need to read the thread.

Op. Are you physically attracted to both men and women? Do you enjoy sex with women?

I don't think you can have a homosexual relationship with a man if it's only oral that interests you and you don't want anything else. However I can see why early on in a relationship some women would be disconcerted if you said you liked oral with men. I'd probably not mention it till later.

I'm bi and married to a straight man. Biphobia and bi erasure are massive problems at the moment and they're not going anywhere unfortunately :( As others have said, another bisexual person is your best bet if you're struggling, but I don't think you need to necessarily "admit" to it like it's a dirty little secret.

Wsw means woman seeking woman according to google.

I agree op I'm a bisexual female and have found the dating thing hard alot of lesbians are anti bi so makes it even harder but I have had mostly had relationships with other bi females and straight men never a lesbian.

Definitely not attracted to men.

It's just that one thing. I've done it on my own and with my ex before she left.

Well just don't mention it when dating. Problem solved.

Sorry! Reading this totally wrong!

If you aren't attracted to men you can't be bi?

Going a tad off topic, but from recent discussion around the subject:

A lot of lesbians have had negative experiences with "bi" women only being interested when they are with a man and looking for a woman to "feature" in a threesome.
Then there is the concern from straight men that you'll leave them for a woman (big impact on his percived masculinity) or for a lesbian that you're "making do" til a man comes along
Then there's the alleged promiscuity, "will definitely cheat, can't be happy with one" side and the "bisexual people are big carriers of STIs". Not to forget "no such thing, just greedy/can't make up their minds"

Another suggesting another bi person. There's loads of us around - I'm bi, and my OH is bi. We're monogamous but we're both good with each other having had relationships with both sexes.

I don't think it has to be an issue. And, frankly, if a woman is going to be a cow about a fundamental part of your identity, you don't want to waste time on her.

It's just that one thing. I've done it on my own and with my ex before she left.

Oral sex on your own?

LOL

If I could do that then I'd not need a partner lol

It's not wrong or homophobic to have a preference or an absolute. But there is no need for people to be hurtful about it e.g. By describing it as dirty etc.

I'm heterosexual and I am only attracted to heterosexual meN. It's no different to a gay man being attracted to other men or a woman being attracted to women.

That being said, it seems you're not seeking a relationship with a man and therefore there is probably no need to mention it. But if you might potentially be seeking a relationship with a man as opposed to a woman or if your former partner had been a man, then it would IMO be best to mention it on your profile in the same way you might mention having kids so that any woman who wouldn't choose to date a bisexual man can make that choice before she gets in touch and has to then express her view.

I'm bi and I would not be at all comfortable with a person who would judge a fundamental part of who I am

I completely understand that Queen, but in this case I'm not convinced that this is a fundamental part of the OP.

From my (surprisingly) extensive experience there are VERY many 'straight' men who get a sexual kick from giving a BJ to another man. Most don't consider themselves to be bi. They could never be romantically interested in a man, they don't find men sexually attractive as such, it's just some sort of kink. It only becomes a 'fundamental part' of someone if the urge to do it is so strong that the person concerns 'needs' to do it regularly. Otherwise, it's just another kink. It's one that you can choose to share with a partner, or to keep quiet about if you think it might be problematic.

I'm personally of the opinion that sexuality is on a spectrum including asexuality. Other people can't define you it's not their job and you don't have to define yourself.

I've friends of all persuasions. Apparently in swinging lots of men say they're het yet have had a lot of man on man experiences

I don't think it being a sexual orientation, fetish or kink makes much of a difference tbh. If someone's going to put their judgy pants on over it they're not someone I'm going to get along with and I'd rather end the relationship there. But maybe other people feel differently.

Agree that another other label may fit though, also have known heterosexual and heteroflexible men with similar interests. It's up the op what fits him best though

I like heteroflexible lol