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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My ex left me wen I was pregnant

12 replies

user1486897010 · 18/02/2017 07:54

Hi,
I wanted to post on here because I really need some advise.

I am a single mum and hav me one kid. My ex who is the dad left me wen he found out i was pregnant.

He now really wants to get back together with me but I don't knw if I can trust him or not.
He says he's rely changed and he made a big mistake befor and wants to be in my life again so we can be a proper family. I am findin it rely hard ATM being a single mum. I have a part time job as waitress and don't hav any help from my mum because we fell out and don't talk now. I really need the help of havin a partner and I think Is the best thing for dd havin his dad around. Should I get bak with him??

OP posts:

peppatax · 18/02/2017 07:57

Aside from the fact that leaving you pregnant makes him a total shit - what about dating him for a while first to see if your relationship actually works?

luckylucky24 · 18/02/2017 07:59

How long ago did he leave? Can you really just pick up and carry on?

Original poster

user1486897010 · 18/02/2017 08:05

Well dd is two so was a while ago and he didn't see dd for the first year and a bit and was jus not intrested. But now he has been seein her a bit and visits and well yeah says he wants to get back together. He did have another gf after me but they hav split up now. I am rely torn because I think wuld be the best thing for dd and I did rely like him befor he left but don't know if I can trust him. He is rely good at just saying then right thing

OP posts:

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 18/02/2017 08:34

I'd tread very carefully based on what you said about 'he's very good at saying the right thing'.
I understand you need support but if you got back together and he abandoned you again you'd be back where you were.
But if you think it could work and you want to try I would not move in together just yet but just date for a while, take it very gradually before making any commitments to be together long term.

luckylucky24 · 18/02/2017 10:45

I wouldn't get back with him. He can support you and be a good father without being in a relationship. He left when you were pregnant and has decided two years+ later he wants you back. Do you think he still has feelings for you? Do you have feelings for him?

Cricrichan · 18/02/2017 10:47

I wouldn't get back with him. A man who left me when pg with his child wouldn't be the type of man I'd want to be with!

Stripyhoglets · 18/02/2017 11:13

I wouldn't. Anyone who can do what he did is not going to make a good partner to have a happy stable life with. He'll probably leave again and this time it will affect DD more as she'll know.

HecateAntaia · 18/02/2017 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElvishArchdruid · 18/02/2017 11:25

User depending the circumstances when you got pregnant, he could have bolted because he was scared. I still don't think that's a valid reason to leave you, it's really shitty.

If you have feelings for him there's no harm in seeing him, but think about boundaries before hand.

JoeyJoeJoeJuniorShabadu · 18/02/2017 12:59

He might just be looking for sex tbh.
sorry if that sounds harsh but i wouldn't let him in the door ever again myself.
but that's just me.
he left once - he will do it again.

Original poster

user1486897010 · 19/02/2017 15:50

Thanx for ur posts!
Yhh seems like everyone says I shuldnt trust him. I think I'm jus gonna take it slow and give him a chance. He did rely seem like he has changed nd is rely sorry bout leaving me befor. He ended up coming round las nite and had wine and flowers to say sorry

OP posts:

scoobydoo1971 · 19/02/2017 17:00

Personally I would want more than wine and flowers as a sorry for being dumped in pregnancy. He may have matured and reformed but do be careful. Your child will be confused if Dad moves in, and then moves out again...just take things very slowly and remind yourself that actions speak louder than words.

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