Do doesn't like my cooking

[BusyHomemaker]

Today I cooked a venison casserole with boiled new potatoes and steamed green veggies. It took over two hours to cook and I prepared it so that it would be ready just before 8pm - so DP could have a bath after work. He gets home at 7:30pm. He just ate it quietly and didn't say a word. I asked if it was okay and he said fine. He only ate the casserole. After much probing and me telling him he was being rude and we wouldn't let DD get away with this he told me the potatoes were raw. They weren't!? I know the veg was slightly over done. He's upstairs now, probably sulking. Am I wrong to be upset? He point blank refuses to eat unless the food is absolutely perfect. We have to walk out of restaurants all the time... I kid you not! I'm actually really hurt and considering eating earlier, at a time that suits me better as my cooking is very rarely good enough for him to stomach. Am I being pretty?

melton that made me snort a little! Yes, I wonder if he's stressed. I understand he is fussy with food, we all have out quirks but there is no need to be rude! He's done this before but not for a while. He is good at saying sorry when he needs to so I fully expect a sincere apology tomorrow.

Don't cook for Him again if you're offended? He was an offensive prick and now you're the issue for daring to react? Arsehole. So are you not entitled to any feelings then? To basic respect?

Do not cook for him again or play the perfect wifey with the bath ready and the meal timed around him and not you. Most men would be very grateful to have such a caring and considerate wife. He just takes you for granted. Let him find out what it means to cook his own dinner after work, he'll soon appreciate you again.

When love is no longer being served at the table, it is time to get up and leave.

Oh gawd. This is one thing I just couldn't tolerate.

Cooking a meal for someone is like giving them a present - yes, even fish + chips - except it takes a lot more time and effort than buying a present. I simply can't abide rudeness and ungratefulness around food.

My ex was also extremely lucky around food. My ex of the malignant narcissist variety. My sister's husband is like your dp and he's an alcoholic bully. My dad is like this and has always been like this. He is a selfish bully.

I don't buy that he is good at saying sorry. Maybe he lays it on after he's put you through the wringer. Just so he looks like the good guy.

Picky not lucky. Actually, he was lucky to get my gorgeous food.

I dont see why he is a bad person tbh. He ate some of it and it was clear he wasnt happy with it but didnt say anything. It was only with the OP pushed that he told her that he didnt like it. She in a site where lies from men as a Bad Thing he tells the truth and is pilloried.

He may be oddly sulking but OP is running to MN to complain that the bad man didnt like her cooking. A somewhat childish reaction as well.

And - "He's told me not to cook for him again if I'm offended by him not eating it." - he is clear that he doesnt want something cooked if he has to lie about it or being forced to eat something he doesnt like.

The man has done nothing wrong.

One wonders if a woman here said she was being forced to be nice about the food her DP was putting in front of her when she didnt like it what the reaction would be.

Probably some kind of EA accusation.

Women should never be pressured into eating what they dont want to eat and be comfortable with eating what they want. Why is it bad for a man to expect the same?

scottishdiem fair enough if he didn't like the slow cooked venison stew (and who amongst us would sneer at such a shit offering? 🤔). However, manners make most of us deliver our displeasure through more mannerly avenues, rather than taking to the bed and sulking as though we were 2.
Perhaps an offer to cook more, feed oneself when out and not bother the other half, or I don't know, employ one of the million and one options available to educated (if they are) mobile and moneyed men with paid employment to their name.
I'd welcome your thoughts.

Well I have walked out of restaurants when the staff ignored me or I didn't like the menu. Nothing wrong with that.

But if you cook his dinner he should be gracious and grateful !

He sounds like me...with the food I cook, not the food anyone else does.

Dontlaugh How can his displeasure be more mannerly? He ate what he could and didnt complain. Only when pushed by OP did he say why he wasnt eating more of it. His sulking may came in a later post, somewhat after he had been pressured by OP to like a meal he didn't.

He has offered to cook.

Tell him to cook his own dinner in future. Very rude.

My ex was a brilliant cook, and also very fussy about food. But he wouldn't in a million years have criticised my cooking, because he's not an idiot it would be incredibly rude.

Just say you don't want to disappoint him again, so won't be cooking for him any more.

Ok - no more home-cooked meals for him, unless he does it himself. Explain that to him calmly and clearly and do not back down. That level of pickiness is fine if you are paying a fortune for a gourmet meal, but not for a meal at home after everyone has had a long day.

Actually OP, I'm going against the grain here.

He just ate it quietly and didn't say a word
He ate his food, no fuss! Until...
After much probing and me telling him he was being rude and we wouldn't let DD get away with this he told me the potatoes were raw.
So, he said nothing about the meal, until you backed him into a corner by going on at him.
You then told him he was wrong
They weren't!?
Even though the food wasn't cooked as mostly preferred
I know the veg was slightly over done.

I would say YABU.

I agree with SouthernNorthernGirl.

OP pushed for the truth and is pissed at the truth.

I agree with SouthernNorthernGirl too.

'He is good at saying sorry when he needs to so I fully expect a sincere apology tomorrow.'
Did you ever get your apology OP?