I really don't know what to do as I have never really felt this way before with my partner nor have I felt this way with anything in life until now. We have been together a few years and bought a house in 2016. The house was a tad overwhelming as we had so many issues as it was a new build with builders, something I didnt expect lets say.
He has a very high sex drive and well he had issues with his ex before with regards to her not really being that into him or having a sex drive at all. So with me he was all over me at the start which I really couldnt handle nor liked.
We are still very attracted to one another, he is 9 years older than me, hitting 50 this year and we both keep fit at the gym and fairly healthy lifestyles.
However, the first issue I found with him was I always thought he was too old for me but he treats me well which he does and will do anything for me. Our sex drives were a tad strange at the start as we later found out he had many insecurities related to sex thanks to his horrid ex partner and we have now overcome them I would say a year later. What concerns me is that use to have a very high sex drive, well I use to always want it pretty much most nights with previous partners, but with him, because he had a few issues at the start from the ex, it has put a huge strain on things and makes me feel more pressured and stressed so its not as relaxed shall we say.
Whenever I don't cuddle him alot or give him enough physical attention he gets very moody, grumpy and use to say in the past we are becoming like an old married couple. I feel he has very high expectations of me or just needs a lot of attention. I use to give it more when we first went out but did use to say to him that I felt he was a little too much and to slow things down he's just over the top sexually here. Which he did.
We are very close and we do get on really well even though I am painting a horrific picture of him, he is a lovely guy and has learnt to understand me in the way that I need space, or I like to do things alone, work, gym etc.
lately my work is highly demanding, I work for myself seeing clients daily and it does drain me, I wont lie. But during the week I really don't want him anywhere near me until its the weekend when I am chilled out, its like my work comes first and I cant seem to think of anything else apart from work.
This is happening more and more over the months and weeks....its like my sex drive isn't there at all now, which is completely depressing me....
The worst of it all, is I am having these dreams about younger men, annoyingly so and then at the same time feel disconnected with my partner, I am worried in case I don't feel satisfied with him sexually or Im just stressed not sure which of it is as I do love him.
So my feeling here is I feel like I have to take on all this responsibility to make someone else happy if that makes sense as well as all my clients and I feel I am going to burst!! hopefully not, but i have lost a tremendous amount of weight and feel very much overwhelmed ....
don't think I am depressed as I am looking forward to seeing friends, family etc and still eat like a pig...lol - I enjoy going out with friends but feel something else in my life is missing and is making me feel angry, strained and defensive all the time. .....but its the whole sex thing, its just not happening for me with him and really don't want to do it....I am bored and stressed at home yes and I do feel he doesnt make me feel excited/happy anymore. I have told him that I don't feel myself and he knows this but he isn't sure what to do as he has asked what can he do to help me....
I don't want an affair or would do this, I just want my old self back again. ....
anyone ever had this before? thank you for reading x