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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Need advice

4 replies

hopeandpeace · 16/02/2017 10:10

I'm hoping to get some advice please. I have been thinking about it for a long time, I'm very happy being single however I can't stop longing for another child. I have an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship and I have been single since she was born as I only wanted to concentrate on my daughter. I don't know whether to try and find a partner now my daughter is a bit older but I'm very happy as I am and I don't know whether I really want a relationship. I can't stop feeling that I would like to have another child, would it be crazy to consider a donor clinic? I want to put my daughter and the baby first and I don't want to be selfish but I know I can do it on my own and I want to keep the happy life I've made for my daughter without bringing a relationship into it. I feel I'm selfish as the baby wouldn't have a father around but I would be open and honest with the baby as they got older and started to ask. A few of my friends were single mums and got into relationships that have turned into negative situations and I don't want that for my daughter. My daughter is 11 and I'm 30. I wanted to ask opinions and advice

OP posts:

HarmlessChap · 16/02/2017 10:17

Parenting can be done perfectly well by one parent, you know that already.

Looking for a partner to develop a loving relationship in which you'll want to have a child is fine but it sounds as though really you'd be craving the sperm more than the relationship so I'd say donor clinic is the way to go.

Patchouli666 · 16/02/2017 10:34

I'd do it in a heartbeat in your situation. My friend is in an awful marriage but her biological clock was ticking very loudly and she wouldn't do what you are the thinking of. She now is not living with her un-dh and is happy being pregnant and can see what we all said for years. It's not necessary to have the bad relationship.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/02/2017 11:39

My best friend did exactly this.
She hadn't had DC and wanted them and was closing in on 40.
Donor clinic - 2nd time lucky.
My godson is so adorable.
She has a great network of friends and family who help her if she needs it.
And now at over 40 she has finally found someone after never having had a long term relationship.
Funny how things work out sometimes!
Do what ever you want.
This is your life!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/02/2017 11:53

You already know what it's like parenting solo. How will your daughter, who has had you to herself since birth, react?
If you are healthy, have a network of family and/or friends and are financially comfortable, I don't think it's selfish of you.
Heaven knows there are many out there with no sense of responsibility or desire to parent who still conceive or father babies that they will raise haphazardly (if at all).

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