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Original poster

ExH Suddenly Transgender

1 reply

theoracleofdelphi · 16/02/2017 09:40

My ex husband has a history of cyclothymia, psychotic episodes, substance abuse & alcohol abuse. He had 3 affairs during our marriage and was emotionally abusive. I eventually broke free and divorced him. He moved away to a large city.

We have a 7 yo DD and last weekend she visited him and he was dressed as a woman and took her out for the day with other new transgender friends. While she was there he sent me an email telling me he has changed his name to Jennifer, was having gender reassignment treatment and our DD was "fine with it". He also said he "asserts his right not to hide away to protect his children from discrimination".

DD came home very distressed and crying about "Daddy dressing like a girl" and doesn't want to see him like that.

I texted him and asked him to dress neutrally as many women including me would at the weekend (jeans and t shirt) while she's with him to allow time for me to arrange support for her to come to terms with this and he just replied "stop sending abusive messages".
DD doesn't want to see him unless he dresses like a boy. He won't compromise.

Any advice?

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MNHQ

LouMumsnet · 17/02/2017 22:32

Evening all and thanks for the reports on this thread. We appreciate that this is a sensitive subject and also that the OP is in a very difficult situation. You've had some great advice and support on here, OP, but we did want to pop on here to say that we're keeping an eye on the thread. As you can see, some posts have been deleted.

Mumsnet is a general interest site; we moderate across a wide host of issues on a daily basis, and can't claim to be experts in any one field. As a result, our policy in terms of Talk Guidelines and what we deem deletable has always been inclusive rather than exclusive: we operate under broad principles of mutual respect and courtesy, rather than specifying what users can and can't say on any given topic.

So we apply those same broad principles when it comes to transphobia, rather than coming up with a Mumsnet definition of what transphobia is, or with a list of specific deletable transgressions.

MN has always been proud to allow users to have robust disagreements about difficult topics, but without hate speech, and without comments that are just plain mean, offensive, goady or personally directed at other posters. If you think we need to look at any particular posts, please flag them up by hitting the 'Report' button and we'll take a look.

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