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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This feels quite Stately Homes to me - or maybe I'm imagining it

36 replies

user1487175389 · 15/02/2017 17:01

Got a letter from my mother today. It's quite upsetting to read.Maybe it's best if I just copy it out as faithfully as possible:

Dear A & B,

I need to write this letter to both of you because I'm appealing to you jointly for help.

In little more than one year (starting in 2009), I lost my mother, father, brother-in-law, cousin and also an aunt and an uncle. You need to know that the pain of being blocked from your lives in the last year and a half has been far far worse. The grief is often overwhelming. I cry a lot and on the worst days am forgetful and find it hard to concentrate. I'll struggle to follow conversations or read more than a few lines. (this letter has taken me weeks to write... I'm desperate to choose the right words in order to be understood).

Dad copes differently. He 'blocks' things off. It usually makes him angry if I try to discuss these things; but recently he admitted he is 'grieving' for A - and his dgcs.

Following the death of a 19 year old friend two years ago, A's sister needed lengthy counselling at college. She said the other issue that came up frequently in her sessions, was the situation with A. A's other sister and brother and other family members are also sad, particularly when they see the effect it has on us... it is like ripples in a pond.

It is about two years since I had a normal conversation with A and in June it will be two years since we saw the dgcs. On that occasion for about 40 minutes. Neither of you will meet me or suggest a time for an appointment: I'm turned away from A's doorstep and calls are blocked by both of you. B will not give me his address.

If both of you remain equally hostile to us - A because she thinks we accused her of lying (we didn't) and B presumably (I'm only guessing here) because he believes A's DF of A's legal costs was an attempt to deprive him of his children (it EMPHATICALLY was not!); then surely simple logic says we cannot possibly have been 'against' both of you simultaneously? In fact we weren't 'against' anyone.

Neither of you confided in us and we had scant detail about the content of the Hearing. A's Df saw it as his duty to help A financially, and trusted the court would reach a decision on custody arrangements that would be fair to both of you both. This does at least appear to have happened.

To struggle to reconcile two conflicting accounts: the first describing an amicable separation due to 'incompatibility' and a 'bad atmosphere'; and the second, approximately a year later, speaking of A as the victim of physical assault, is not to accuse anyone of lying. The allegations were made belatedly; at a time of conflict over access; after living apart fairly peaceably (or so it seemed to us) for a long period. How could we NOT find that confusing? If one (or both) of you had confided in us and appealed to us to intervene at times of trouble we might have been able to help - and to understand.

When your children are adult and go through relationship breakdown (42% of marriages end in divorce), you too will discover that god-like insight into their circumstances or perfect judgement about the levels of wrongdoing between your child and their partner, is not available to you!

If the context of their troubles is a background of sparse and fractured communication between the couple and yourself over 10 or more years; if there has been a cyclical pattern of bouts of recrimination and accusation - often triggered by relatively trivial things; if you never actually hear the word 'sorry' after these incidents; even when (months later) the dust has finally settled; you too will find it wise to approach their marital conflict with neutrality and caution! (contd below)

OP posts:
User543212345 · 15/02/2017 20:45

File the letter somewhere safe where you won't look at it and ruminate on it then. And keep ignoring. It sounds safer for you to keep her out of your life.

I hope she leaves you in peace.

HughJarss · 15/02/2017 20:50

I can't believe she sent this for your ex's secretary to open.

Have you read the pinned posts at the top of the stately homes threads? Some useful info there, OP. I think this post may be better off there.

toastymarshmallow · 15/02/2017 23:04

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

She is a nasty piece of work isn't she.

The list of ways in which she was a great parent rings true. Very easy to tell you all the things any parent should do and make you feel like you should be grateful for it all. Been through that with my own parents. Pisses me off.

She is trying to get you back into your box OP. Don't rise to her.

fc301 · 16/02/2017 00:02

Wow. OP this has helped me a lot, as a PP said it resonates ALOT. Because those without experience of EA read it as a reasonable letter. But it's so not. After all that has clearly gone on she is trying to project it all onto you. I.e. You need to take action to fix this (when actually NC / no action is better). Also she stills feel righteous to express an opinion on your marriage! (I also had that).

It's easy to get caught up in what she has said/how she has said it... but look at what is missing - I love you, I value you, you are wonderful and precious to me for a million reasons, which I am able to list. She has not thought to include those sentiments which is very revealing. I read it as 'FFS play ball so I can see (have some control over) my GC.'
Look in the mirror and recite fuckem until you feel a bit better. Hugs to you.

Expat38matt · 16/02/2017 03:53

Found it a bit confusing tbh. Assume you are A? I initially thought B was a sibling but this is your ex?
How many siblings do u have and are you nc with them all? Are they nc with your parents?
What event culminated in your going nc?

Teabay · 16/02/2017 08:35

Ignore ignore ignore.

This is DEFINITELY stately homes, definitely NOT a sorry from her and you will be much happier just getting on with your life.

I have experience of close family like this and I can see the quiet digs A MILE OFF.

You are not imagining it.

Bin the letter.

user1487175389 · 16/02/2017 09:49

fc301 you're right- that's exactly what's missing - and has been since I hit adolescence. Tbh I thought it was normal to be treated at arms length after 12 or 13, it's only looking at the relationships of friends and their mothers over the years that showed me otherwise. In her mind, there's no difference in how she feels about me and how she feels about my ex. That can't be right.

Thanks Teabay good to know I'm not as mad as my family would have me believe.

expat yes he's my ex. Although you wouldn't guess from the letter. 3 siblings. Final straw was how she reached to me telling her about ex's abusive behaviour but this was only after she'd wormed her way back in countless times after I'd gone nc because she hurt my kids, etc.

OP posts:
Surreyblah · 16/02/2017 10:20

The Stately Homes posters will help you OP.

Very wrong of your mother to write a joint letter to you and your abusive ex!

user1487175389 · 16/02/2017 10:42

Thanks. I'll pop over there soon.

OP posts:
AndTheBandPlayedOn · 16/02/2017 16:17

Ignore.
She is giving her side, her version, her perspective-and that may seem fair to let people have their say (doesn't mean you have to read/listen though!). However, the letter was a treaty of self justification using a catalog of filters and mirrors to present her truth, which had nothing at all to do with your truth.

She did not acknowledge you at all which is the height of dismissiveness towards you as well as your truth.

Imho, you functioned as a prop in her life as a child and she could brag to anyone who would listen about all the various things she "sacrificed" or did for you-but in reality, I suspect, that stuff was to feed her needs not necessarily yours, iyswim (keeping up with the Jones's).

Now she wants to do it again with your kids with the added bonus of putting you down at the same time (the implication is that she has to do these things for dgc because you are not a capable parent).

Do not second guess your resolve with nc. It is not you imagining things. You know her facade is 100% fake. It is, and always will be, bait. Just leave it.

user1487175389 · 16/02/2017 17:21

Yep, that's about right. She used to help me out with childcare a bit years ago but my God, it wasnt free. The emotional cost to me made it quite unworkable.

It's hard to process all this. I miss her, I love her, but it's not her i miss, it's still the hero worshipping construct from when I was little. I honestly thought she was the best human being who ever walked the planet. I suppose I was brainwashed. Horrible way to think about my childhood. And yet at the same time I was idolising her she was intermittently hitting me round the head so hard it made HER cry, or terrifying me in other ways. Again I thought it was normal. By contrast, my kids neither worship me or fear me.

OP posts:
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