Am I wrong to feel confused

[kidsinamerica73]

This is a weird one...
I've been with my do for about 7 months so is very much a fledgling relationship although I thought we were pretty open with each other.
So, here's the thing...
He was married before, when we started dating friends told me his ex wife was beautiful so of course I had a snoop on his fb and saw his pics of her, yes she is beautiful.
The other day I walked past a shop which is across the road from my house and thought I recognised her working in the window. Later on that eve I asked ' is she working there' he replied yes. I said it was strange he never mentioned it as we both pass there most days and it's next door to my local pub and where I take the kids to meals and meet friends for coffee etc, literally I pass there maybe 8 times a day and sit outside there waiting for my bus etc!
Supposedly this woman hurt him v badly years ago and he's been single ever since. But he has mentioned her a few times in conversations so it would not be unusual to say she works across the road from our house!
This isn't the first time he's omitted info , he's v private and defensive but tbh this has rocked me a bit. I have my period so don't know if I'm being unreasonable to feel slightly more doubtful of him now and dare I say ambivalent about our relationship .
He thinks it want worth mentioning but now every one I pass there I'm conscious that she's there, her seat is right in the window and she is stunning even in her shitty uniform!
I don't know how to come back from this, especially with Valentine's tomorrow.
Am I being a dick?

Foxysoxy01 he doesn't live by her workplace, I do. He lives the other side of the city.

Tbh he doesn't sound that great. He won't talk to you about things, he complains about your new business, and you've described him as miserable. Do you really want that long term?

This really wouldn't bother me.

Maybe he didn't tell you because he knew you'd look.

If she wasn't beautiful I don't think you would be as bothered.

AssassinatedBeauty i know! Obviously that's not the s whole of h but sometimes he's hard work...

myheartbelongstog
I know now and of course I'll look! She clearly knows who I am from the way she looked at me.
I'd rather of known from him a long time ago than finding out now and knowing it's another thing he's decided I just don't need to know.

Tbh since your updates OP, I think he sounds like a bit of a dick. I couldn't put up with all of that, I'd end up feeling like shit

It's ultimately your decision, but I'd call it a day

SparklyMagpie it's not nice having taboo subjects and feeling scared to ask questions.
It's funny that ages ago I had meant to ask where she works when he'd talked about her but didn't for fear of looking nosy so I guess had I asked then I wouldn't be feeling like this now!

I wouldn't be interested in a man who spoke to me like that. He threw it in your face that you still see your ex? I should hope you do - you have a child together! Can he not understand that?

I also wouldn't be interested in a man who couldn't communicate. It shocked me that he wasn't interested in your business and couldn't see why you would want to know certain things.

Also, I find it very worrying that he spends so much time at your place, opposite his ex's workplace, when he's still so shaken up. Who would want to do that?

He sounds too dysfunctional, OP. I'd get rid now.

DeterminedToChange thanks for your message. I have ptsd which had gone away but due to various triggers lately the symptoms are back with a vengeance, I don't know if I'm over reacting or not which is why I came here, everything's magnified at the mo & I have erratic hormones with a rare random period at the mo I have been crying on and off all day and when I'm like this I can't trust my own judgement. He doesn't like where he lives and is only there cos it's cheap.
I think he threw my ex husband thing back in my face as he felt cornered as didn't have a valid reason why he'd kept quiet about the ex wife. Seriously , he gets the bus right outside her work to leave mine or go to work himself as do I . Me and him would have sat right outside there 100 times and I've had no idea. I'm not comfortable with people who shut me out of stuff or who I can't read, probably my problem he seems very open and emotionally articulate when we first met which was part of the attraction but is only open when it suits him and about things that suit him. If he expresses something that I challenge is often when he becomes defensive and attaching rather than taking the time to hear what I've said and consider the alternative view.

So what do you think you're going to do OP? It doesn't sound like a very happy relationship :( it's just one sided

I agree 100% with DeterminedToChange

The way he speaks to you is not on. He cannot bring up you having a relationship with the father of your child. Of I was in a relationship and that was thrown in my face, they'd be thrown out of the door.

I'm actually struggling to see what are the nice sides to this guy?

You shouldn't have to be feel like you can't talk to eachother in fear of him being an arse. If you both can't communicate ( his side ) what's the point?

Xx

We had a big make or break thing over new year as I was feeling disjointed and that things were unequal. He promised things would change but things changed for about five minutes.

So 5 or so months into your relationship you were having problems enough that you describe as 'a big make or break thing'. It shouldn't be this hard in the early days of a good relationship.
Things about him sound odd, to say the least.
I'd walk away now before you get in any deeper.

TrippyMcTrapFace good name.
When you look at it on paper it doesn't look great does it? I dunno I thought it was worth it but it's also a strain. My mental health is not great so I don't know whether I'm overthinking everything.
Am def giving it more consideration than if I was well