Would you want to "run a mile" if your girlfriend/boyfriend declined a proposal?

[user1486845940]

Just that...

But did she actually SAY she doesn't want to share her money, or is that just the conclusion you've drawn?

Not wanting to ever get married is valid - it's how I feel and I've only got about £500 in the bank at the moment!

Nah. I never wanted to get married.

I would walk away of the didn't love me, but that's not what she's saying. I grew up with a from view of marriage, and was never keen. She's obviously got her reasons, money will Just be a part of this.
If you love her, give this some space, try to talk about it without either of you getting triggered. Maybe it's Just not part of her works view.

How old are you both.
Her excuse would be a major red flag for me. Almost like, money is uber important to me, so no i dont want to share mine, but if i meet a rich man maybe i can keep mine and share his.

You know her so only you can guage whether you are her future or just her here and now

But you do need to talk to her about what she thinks you'll be doing in 5-10 years time etc etc I am assuming neither of you have been married before have kids etx

Her excuse would be a major red flag for me. Almost like, money is uber important to me, so no i dont want to share mine, but if i meet a rich man maybe i can keep mine and share his.

The OP says she said "look, I love you a lot. I want to be with you, but I don't ever want to be married". As far as we know she did not say 'I don't want to share my money with you'.

OP,

It depends on how important marriage is to you. Her response makes it clear that it's not a matter of time, she just doesn't want to get married, at least not to you.

The finances could be an issue, as people see so many marriages breakdown and the higher earner looses a lot. This is more often the case when the lower earner cheats.

The bottom line, is that of marriage and children are important to you, consider moving on.

The OP also says she doesnt like the idea of sharing money so there must have been a conversation about this during the relationship.

The words i love you a lot could mean everything or absolutely nothing. Only the op can really gauge this.

Tricky one... it might be unromantic but I can see her point about the money. It's the person who bought most assets to the marriage who loses in the event of divorce.

I own a property but my DP doesn't. If we married then it didn't work out and we divorced he'd potentially be entitled to half my flat. I worked hard for it and made sacrifices to get on the property ladder so I wouldn't be happy to risk that. No that he's proposing but I think I'd say no. I'd also have issues about one man giving me to another at a wedding and me changing my name. I'm not a campaigning feminist or whatever but I am me, not a possession and not up for changing my identity. All this doesn't mean I don't love him.

But then, we're not having kids and that changes everything. If I was younger and planning DC I'd think differently.

Sharing finances while married is one thing, sharing them post marriage is another.... I'm not sure the lower earner/owner demanding marriage or leaving is particularly romantic either. What have they got to lose?

What writergirl said.

Some people don't believe in marriage. If this is her, then it's not about you, IYSWIM.

Have you not had a conversation about the general principle of marriage before!