Are me and my DH unusual and weird..................................because we get on ?

[april74]

Whilst talking to a good friend yesterday via msn, she was having another bad day in regard to her relationship, when I tried to offer a suggestion (as you go) she said its ok your you your relationship is perfect, my relationship is not perfect, we just get on and if we have a problem discuss it, we work at it, I dont get wound up from the little things he does as accepted long ago that men and women think differently. he does annoy from time and time and we do have rows.

She said all her friends moan about there partner and i am weird and our relationship is unusal, It did make me chuckle as I know a few people who are not unhappy in their relationship.

You aren't weird, My DH and I hardly argue either. Don't let anyone make you feel weird about it.

Oh... but the people who rant all the time think it's so wonderful to be 'passionate'... and then they go on about how great it is when they make up... makes me want to puke, sometimes

Dh & I went to a friends yesterday as he is doing her kitchen. Everything I suggested was wrong, he told me in front of her (DH is a builder). In fact, every little thing I suggested, he argued with, and quite frankly it was embarassing. Afterwards I did tell him off.

However, we don't row, only bicker, big things are usually agreed by us both.

I love my husband possibly more than when we got married. He has been so fantastic to me with both children and I really can't complain. In fact, I have put upon this man more times than I care to remember. Yet he stays. He tells me that he loves me about twice a year (not big on words). But the little things, like making me tea when I want one, making dinner if I REALLY need him to, just being there and doing stuff if I need it, make our relationship strong.

Oh and sex. Well, I was clearing out some cupboards today and found some condoms, showed them to DH and he said 'not until I have the snip'. I'll take that as a no, shall I.

i know plenty of people who dislike their DP/DH, it's sad really. They pick on their clothes, eating habits, sense of humour, tastes etc. I wonder why they stay together, when they seem so unhappy

DP and i have lots in common, and yes, sometimes he gets on my tits, but not often, and not for long. I like him aswell as loving him, which is why we get along so well.

Dh and I bicker a lot (well the bickering is me, he just sulks) and have had some truly terrible times in the past with mega stress on both sides, chronic depression on mine, etc etc.

But we are the very very best of friends. We have tried living without eachother and cannot do it, even though the sexual side of our relationship is pretty, er, slow shall we say.

I think long term that a true companionship is the greatest thing you can wish for from another person.

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Dior - I think there's a world of difference between moaning about your dh on mn & in rl. I can be quite stroppy on here but I'm a pussycat in rl

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Dior

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Dior your husband sounds like a wanker!

Dior, it should be abundantly clear from my post that I'm not talking about situations where someone is in genuine need of help and support. There's a difference between moaning and asking for help. I shouldn't need to point out that my post wasn't aimed at you personally (I've no idea who you are!) but if you insist on being offended and taking it personally, then go right ahead.

Thanks for all your replies it has been good to read.

I think I was getting at my friend moaning that her dh didn't bath the kids, and then when he did moaned that he kept them in for too long, then moaning that they never got chance to play in bath etc etc.

not sure what's wrong with having a moan in cyberspace or otherwise...it's cathartic

there's nothing "wrong" with it - speaking for myself, I'm not sitting in moral judgement or anything. It's only my opinion after all. I just find it a bit wearing when people do it all the time. It's like it's a default setting for some people.

Dior - have you told him how you feel about his remarks?

I'm trying to lose weight (5lb since Christmas ) but to be honest if dh was making comments that made me feel fat & unattractive I'd just head straight for the biscuit tin.

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poor you

oh, good grief. Whatever.

I think that a relatively small number of people have relationships that are trouble free. Some moaning may appear a bit silly or trivial, and some people do get off on the bandwagon of "my partner is so bad that he/she...". But I do think that relationships are in general quite hard work. Maybe I'm just jaded though because mine has gone horribly wrong! Something along the when you start trying for a baby you see babies everywhere sort of line.

You're normal. People often whinge about stuff but I beleive that most people are more or less OK together. It isn't always easy mind you - I don't beleive that any relationships is all hearts and flowers.I do get hacked off with friends who tell me I'm lucky! It's not luck, it's hard work, compromise and determination.