I'm writing this as much to get it off my chest as anything as I'm on my own with no one to talk to!
This is a long one I'm afraid. About five years ago I went on a date with a guy that I met through online dating after having chatted with him online for a while. We had a great time, the conversation flowed, our sense of humour was on the same level, the chemistry was definitely there and we spent the latter part of the evening kissing. However I then never heard from him again.
I'd recently come out of a relationship where I'd never known where I stood, and was determined to only embark on something if the man made it clear he was interested, so I didn't contact him back either, shrugged my shoulders and got on with my life.
A few months later I met now ex dp and was with him for about three years.
Last April the guy I went on the date with found me through WhatsApp and contacted me again. We chatted fairly frequently over the ensuing few months, not in a flirty way, just in a friendly way. We gradually built up quite a close friendship. I asked him why he had never contacted me after our first date and he had got it into his head that I was going to judge him on the flat he was living in at the time, he'd just moved in and didn't have any furniture and for some reason he thought that would mean that I wasn't interested. Obviously I would never judge someone in that way! And he pointed out that I hadn't contacted him either.
Anyway round about Christmas time, it's hard to explain exactly but we started getting closer. We still weren't flirting as such it's just that the frequency of our communication increased and things just got closer between us. I started wondering about whether there might be potential for more than friendship. (Neither of us was seeing anyone the whole time we were chatting by the way) At this point it's probably worth mentioning, because it might be relevant, that he has been suffering with some kind of autoimmune skin condition which has really affected him psychologically and he has body dysmorphia. Certainly looking at his pictures, I can't see anything wrong with his skin but in his mind he looks hideous. He definitely doesn't in my eyes.
We arranged to see each other last week and he came over to mine. We had dinner and watched a film and got on just as well as we ever had done. There was no awkwardness at all and it definitely felt right to kiss again, quite a lot. He had to leave to go to London for a hospital appointment but was coming back the next day and said that he'd stop by mine on the way back to his (he lives about an hour away from me so this meant quite a detour to mine which I took as a sign he really wanted to see me) as promised, he came back, we had dinner again and lots of kisses and cuddles - I feel as though it's relevant to say that we were cuddled up and he was stroking my hair and stroking my arm so this very much felt more intimate than just 'let's have a snog because we fancy each other' iyswim... I suppose I'm trying to get across that this felt very affectionate and intimate and close.
I asked him when he was going to come and see me again and he said Sunday (i.e. tomorrow) I have to admit I've been feeling really happy and hopeful and excited... I really like him and really fancy him and feel as though we've got to know each other really well at this stage and that there's a lot of potential there.
However today I got a short WhatsApp message saying sorry, I can't make it tomorrow after all and a sad face. I replied straight away saying how come? But he'd already gone off-line at that point. I felt quite upset because I feel as though he could have explained in his initial message why he couldn't make it, or stayed online so that we could talk about it. Instead of just disappearing straight away. An hour later I tried to call him but he didn't answer ( we phone each other quite a lot so this isn't a particularly big deal) I haven't heard from him since, this was about five hours ago. I feel really upset. I feel like I've been massively stupid to get my hopes up because surely all of this is an indicator that he is not interested? I have been patient with him because I knew that he was psychologically affected by his appearance and so on one hand I didn't want to rush him but on the other hand I also felt like I had to take the lead a little bit due to his lack of confidence, but I felt like I was achieving a good balance between those two things. And now this. I just feel really really stupid and a little bit heartbroken as well because I suppose I got my hopes up quite a lot. It's just that all the indicators seemedue to his lack of confidence, but I felt like I was achieving a good balance between those two things. And now he's treating me as though I don't matter. I just feel really really stupid and a little bit heartbroken as I had allowed myself to get my hopes up. It's just that all the signs seemed good. Should I just leave it now completely do you think? Really wish I didn't feel so ridiculously sad about this! Have I been a complete idiot?!