So recently me and quite a good friend fell out. She thinks I am being unreasonable but I think she is overreacting. I'd quite like an opinion from someone who doesn't know either of us. So this is what happened, I'm trying not to sugar it up in my favour:
I had arranged to meet my friend at the weekend, on the morning of our meeting she sent me a text to say she couldn't make it because she didn't have enough money. Apparently her benefits weren't paid for some reason. I was annoyed, but I didn't say anything and swept it under the rug. We arranged to meet a few days later after work. At lunchtime I got a text from her to say she couldn't make it - no excuse or apology given.
I was so annoyed and couldn't believe she didn't even apologise - 2 meetings in a row she had cancelled. However I kept my cool and just didn't reply. I knew if I did I would say something I would probably regret.
A few hours later she sent me a casual message asking if I could do some printing for her. This really annoyed me and felt like she was taking the P. So I decided I was going to let her know that I was annoyed that she had cancelled on me again, this time with no excuse or apology. She said she didn't seem the harm as she let me know. I was actually disappointed that someone who I thought was a good friend could be casual and didn't see the problem in wasting my time.
This friend suffers from chronic back pain and at times can be very painful. When I told her I wasn't happy she had cancelled twice in a week, she said her back was giving her pain and that I have been friends with her for long enough to know that it can stop her from doing stuff. She has cancelled on me before because of her back pain, which I understood - but twice in a week with no apology isn't good. She then proceed to tell me that if I had a problem with that to never speak with her again.
I personally hate hearing adults saying those words - it's a very immature way to deal with conflict in my opinion. So I told her not to behave like a child. She then got super aggressive and told me to f**k off and never accuse her of being a child. I decided to end the conversation there as I didn't want it spiraling out of control. Her reaction to me questioning her about cancelling our plans actually upset me more than her cancelling.
When the dust had settled I reached out an olive branch, which she kind of accepted. She told me that our exchange of words had deeply upset her and that she would not be making arrangements to see me again. This was 5 months ago, and while we text every now and then, things are not the same and we haven't met up in person since.
So I'm looking for an unbiased opinion, was I unreasonable in being annoyed at her for cancelling twice in a row or is she just overreacting.
In the past when we have had minor arguments she has deleted me as a friend on Facebook. So I know from experience she is very quick to cut people out of her life.
Friends and family that I have spoken to about this situation told me that perhaps she didn't hold our friendship with very high regard. I thought of her as a close friend, perhaps to her I was just a 'friend' - which maybe is why she found it so easy to cut ties with me. Some have said that not all friendships are meant to last forever, and I should just move on. There were times before this 'incident' that when we were discussing things I found it difficult to understand her opinion. That's not to say she is wrong, but I didn't always see where she was coming from which made it difficult for me to sympathise with her.
However, I'm finding it difficult still to adjust from speaking to her everyday to not at all. Sometimes I'll see things and think 'oh, she would love that' and I'd get the urge to contact her but then I remember she doesn't want me to contact her anymore. I actually get a little jealous when I see how she's moving on with her life on social media.
All comments and thoughts welcome, I'm very happy for people to tell me if I was being an idiot.