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Original poster

Wedding Query - Groomsmen

17 replies

Movelikethat · 10/02/2017 17:00

Hi,

(Not sure if this is the right thread to use but I couldn't find how to post in _Chat from my phone Confused)

Wondering if someone can help!

Obviously a novice at this. We have just been putting together some lists and planning how we want the day to go. When the topic of groomsmen came up, neither of us were sure of how many you should have?

I know there will be no definite number but I just need an idea!

The wedding will have 70 people in the day and 90-100 people in the evening if that helps?

I will be having 3 adult bridesmaids and 2 child bridesmaids (10 and 13)

Help me! Thanks!

OP posts:
WaitedForGodot · 10/02/2017 17:05

as many as you want

Christmasnoooooooooooo · 10/02/2017 17:44

As many as you afford suits for ?
As many brothers you both have .
As many freinds you DF has ?

SweetBabyJebus · 10/02/2017 17:46

People usually match the numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen, at least they have at every wedding i've ever been to!

Original poster
Movelikethat · 10/02/2017 18:34

That's what I thought about matching but we both only have 1 brother each. They are the obvious choices.

Then there is a BIL and 2 nephews that we are unsure about...

Hmmm. Thanks for your help!

OP posts:
DappledThings · 10/02/2017 19:40

I think the matching numbers is a very American thing. Like bridesmaids preceeding the bride instead of following. So have however many you want.

I had 2 bridesmaids, DH had 5 or 6 ushers because he wanted to and because it was very useful having a lot of guys we could give jobs to!

SandyY2K · 10/02/2017 19:42

There is no set number, but the groom tends to pick close friends /and or family. Brothers or cousins.

Gaaaah · 10/02/2017 19:48

We had more groomsmen than bridesmaids. My husband has a few very close friends. I don't. I had 2, he had 5.

Groomsmen are good for doing all the ushering people into places, fetching and carrying, paying any monies outstanding like the band if you have one.

HeyMicky · 10/02/2017 19:52

As per PPs, I had two bridesmaids but DH had more groomsmen - one best man and four grooms. They did lots of leg work on the day.

We supplied a tie and buttonhole flower eaxg and they wore their own grey suits (all office workers)

HeyMicky · 10/02/2017 19:54

There are also other jobs to give to family and close friends if that's a consideration.

BIL was our MC for the evening as he had young children so didn't have the time for best man duties before hand. Friends did readings, played the organ, gave speeches - all sorts

Helbelle75 · 10/02/2017 19:56

We had 2 bridesmaids, the best man and 2 ushers. They were people we wanted to have a role in the wedding ( my stepdad, dh's childhood friend).

MagicChicken · 10/02/2017 19:58

Ushers. Unless you are American they are called Ushers.

MagicChicken · 10/02/2017 19:59

And for a wedding the size of yours you don't need more than two or three.

Dadaist · 11/02/2017 15:01

Really? You want to pay for the clothes of grooms friends?
So traditionally there is a 'best man' who is dressed identically to the groom because, tradition has it, if anything happened to the groom the bride would marry the best man (usually a brother). Family feuds could end in deaths and the marriage was between families as much as the happy couple.
As we tend to marry for love more often these days, it's just a quaint tradition to have a best man to support the groom who takes on responsibilities leaving the groom to be fully engaged in the ceremony.
Groomsmen are the close 'kith and kin' and should simply wear what is appropriate for the ceremony. Of course if the groomsmen are of a uniformed regiment they might wear their dress outfit. But its certainly not necessary to buy identical clothes for the grooms best friends!

Christmasnoooooooooooo · 11/02/2017 17:39

Men tend to rent their suits and yes if want the men in same outfits you should pay for it in my imho

Original poster
Movelikethat · 11/02/2017 18:12

Thanks for the advice anyone.

I didn't ask whether we should pay, we have assumed we would pay if we want them to match as I feel that is reasonable.

Just trying to decide on how many Smile Thanks for your help!

OP posts:
Dadaist · 12/02/2017 12:48

Sorry OP - I had thought that - if you're not paying - it really doesn't matter! Have as many or as few as he wants. As a tip - often the close male relatives and friends are given a button hole that matches the groom.
Have a wonderful wedding!

SockQueen · 12/02/2017 13:17

I had 3 bridesmaids, DH had a best man and two ushers - one male, one female, I know this is untraditional but she was a very close friend. You don't HAVE to match numbers though, especially with little kids.

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