Helpful advise for a friend?

[Bob19701]

I am a long time contributor and want to put out a problem a male friend has asked me about ... Briefly he has been seeing a lady for about 5 years they live in seperate houses and want to move into one house (probably a new one to both their houses now) . He has no mortgage and house worth approx 140 k , she has a 70k mortgage on a house worth approx 155k , 2 children each only one age 13 will be sharing the house. They hope to be mortgage free how does it all work do they throw everything together and buy or split 50/50 and each keep an equity they each have ?
Any experience of this type of thing would be appreciated

Rent for 6 months-1 year first!

Not sure what renting first would achieve , they have lived together between houses for a few years , it's more about sorting finances and equity..

I wouldn't buy together until actually having lived in one household as partners rather than stopping over as guests in each other's houses.

No way I'd advise anyone to pool resources before trying it out first. Domestic chores and finance are 2 of the biggest sticking points in many relationships so it makes sense to see if they are compatible having actually lived together before taking the risk of fully committing by pooling their resources.

They should keep their own proportion in their own name until and unless they get married, in my opinion.

So he has £140k and she has £85k. They buy a new house and each own the appropriate proportion of that.

Joys thanks that makes sense and then if it all works out then they can buy together at a later date ..

Rent out both houses and rent a 3rd house together first. This is particularly a good idea if they are only going to need a house they will fit in 4 dcs for the next 5years or less.

Agree with pp. Living together F/T (particularly with a potentially stroppy teenager!) can be very different from flitting between houses and it's worth a trial run in a rented place with their respective homes rented out. Gives both of them a safety net.

I have passed on all the thoughts you have kindled passed on they are not sure about renting with the logistics of storing possessions for a year or so .. Thanks for the advise hopefully it helps xxxxx❤️